I know I have spent years telling some of you miscreants to look out for this blog post, and now the time has finally come...
I am looking to recruit at least one personal bitch (possibly more depending on the calibre of replies I get) to assist with the day to day running of My increasingly hectic lifestyle.
Putting My feet up whilst YOU slave away for Me...
For those of you who admire Me from afar but do not have the monetary funds to book a session, this is a rare and unique opportunity to build a D/s connection with Me in return for being useful to Me.
YOUR DUTIES AS MY BITCH:
Cleaning. This one is obvious. This will be in My home and possibly dungeon, and will include hoovering, mopping, washing dishes, laundry, polishing, scrubbing and so on. Chauffeuring You must hold a license, own a car and be a good driver. Ad-Hoc Chores This could include tasks such as administration, promotion, cooking, foot massage, running errands, gardening or DIY tasks.
(Ideally you would be able to perform all these duties, however applications to just serve Me as a cleaning maid or driver are also welcome.)
References It is of paramount important you are able to provide references for Mistresses (either Pro-Domme or lifestyle) you have previously served, whether that be in a professional or personal arrangement. Discretion This position which will involve being in My home. No turning up outside My front door in full maids attire and scaring My neighbours! Animal Friendly/Non-Allergic I have a lovely, friendly (if occasionally yappy!) little dog whom may from time to time need sitting/driving around with Me as part of your duties. Regularly Available I am looking for a bitch who can dedicate at the very least weekly time to serving Me. If you can be flexible and available at short notice that is also a huge bonus.
The position of being My personal bitch does not require a tribute, and as a result you are also not guaranteed any 'play'. However, if I feel so inclined you may get some... I do like to reward My bitches good behaviour!
To apply, email firstname.lastname@example.org and include details of duties you would perform/excel at, references and their contact information, availability, whereabouts you are based and any further information you think is appropriate (For clarity, dick pics are never appropriate...)
Far and away, ruined orgasm is both My favourite way to torment, and what I am most famous for. Let this blog serve as an introduction to the ruining virgins amongst you loyal blog readers...
What is a ruined orgasm?
A ruined orgasm is achieved by taking away all stimulation at the ‘crucial moment’ of release. If done right, your orgasm will just trickle out. Whilst usually not painful physically, this is psychologically very tormenting. The usual pleasure you would receive from an orgasm is entirely missing. In fact, ruined orgasms tend to frustrate My submissives even more so. You can imagine how delighted this makes Me!
Why do you love ruining orgasms so much?
There are numerous reasons why I find ruined orgasms so much fun to explore during My sessions. As a brief outline…
As a form of control and denial
Ruined orgasms are fairly tormenting, in the same way that chastity and edging are. It is serves to show you that your cock belongs to Me. That you will only receive pleasure when I decide so. Ruined orgasms are a teasing reminder of the control and power I have over you.
Having a ruined orgasm is frustrating
I often find My slaves far more obedient when their orgasm hangs in the balance. Frustrated slaves tend to make better slaves, and there is nothing more frustrating than ruining your orgasm.
Having a ruined orgasm is a mind fuck
To see yourself orgasm, but feel no release at all, is quite the mind fuck. To watch your cum slowly seep out of your cock as it twitches for the attention it so badly wants. Nothing brings Me more enjoyment than the look of turmoil on a slaves face as he watches his ruining trickle out of him.
My Venus 2000 Milking Machine
Ruined orgasm sessions are the perfect occasion for Me to play with My Venus 2000 machine. Far and away My favourite bit of kit, it allows Me to milk you dry with the turn of a dial.
My Venus is even for slaves who have trouble keeping an erection. My milking machine will no doubt drag a ruining out of you, regardless of that!
The cruel element of surprise
Unlike other forms of torment, ruined orgasms need no preparation. Although I like to play with My Venus 2000, I don’t need to in order to ruin you.
And so, I have the freedom to choose whether to ruin you or not right up to the very last second.
How very cruel to allow you to think you would earn a release, only to let go at the critical moment…
Ruined Orgasm Sessions
Ruined orgasms can be included in almost any kind of play or scenario. I find it goes very well with other forms of orgasm control or sensual domination. These kind of scenes include all My favourite ways to play.
Edging, chastity control, tease and denial, ‘milking’ scenes and cuckolding all play perfectly into the fetish of ruined orgasms.
As a bonus, having a ruined orgasm doesn't mean you can't then also be rewarded with a full orgasm (or indeed, punished with further ruinings!). Ruining is the secret key to unlocking multiple male orgasms. If that isn't enough to convince you to try Ruined Orgasm, then I am not sure what else will...
As a little backstory to this blog, those of you who follow Me on twitter will have seen I have recently been the subject of harassment. I use recently as a loose term, as this person in question has been hounding Me for well over a year. He has contacted Me through My website, My niteflirt account, My email, and now Twitter. He has also tried to canvass over Dommes and even My submissives. The backstory is that I was briefly in discussion with him regarding a custom clip he wanted, with Me starring as a submissive. I turned him down, as what he wanted was well beyond My comfort limits. It has, however, inspired Me to write this. I thought you loyal readers may find it interesting to hear of My limited experience in your shoes.
Fresh faced, slightly intoxicated, and rocking some steampunk ropework...
I have never been a natural submissive. When I first discovered BDSM with My ex-partner in My early 20's, he identified solely as submissive, and this suited Me perfectly. It allowed Me to really explore and develop My style as a Domme (which has continued to evolve throughout My career). One night, being the adventurous couple W/we were, we decided to attempt switching. He put My legs in a binder, tied My hands up and behind My head and slipped a blindfold on Me. 30 seconds later, if that, I safeworded. An overwhelming sense of claustrophobia struck Me. We didn't ever try switching again.
My ex-partner and I parted ways a few years after that, and I began to explore My sexuality as a single person. I decided that I would try to avoid dating anyone who identified solely as submissive. Topping at both work and at home was burning Me out. As you can imagine though, when you are so open about being a Dominatrix, attracting partners who aren't submissive can be somewhat difficult 🙂
I thought that perhaps I would try submission again, now a few years after My last attempt. I find shibari both artistic and relaxing, so I've quite enjoyed being tied up a few times. During My trip to Thailand last year I took part in a 6 hour long, meditative shibari session. Although good experiences, these were really lacking of any D/s dynamic.
I also dabbled with a couple of casual partners who indulged My desire to try subbing. I've probably tried it four or five times total. To be completely honest, I spent most occasions (silently) critiquing technique and comparing it to what I would do...! Sadly, it is difficult not to when you are submitting to someone much less experienced at Topping than you are.
My first attempt at suspension.
My desire to have a more successful, enjoyable attempt grew. You'll often hear people categorise the submissives of Pro-Dommes as powerful, Type-A, business types, looking for release from their high pressure lives (although I'm of the opinion that the high tributes Us Dommes demand may well make that a biased sample!). My work was becoming more demanding each year. More and more men were submitting to My every whim and paying Me for the privilege. Psychologically, the idea of giving up control to someone else was becoming more and more attractive, as it was in stark contrast to the rest of My life. Like My type-A subs, I started to see such an experience as 'freeing'.
Then last year I had a potential submissive contact Me asking for a 'switch' session, whereby I would sub to him for the first half, before getting My own back as a Top the second half. The activities he wanted to explore with Me as a submissive were all fairly soft and within My limits, so I agreed. It sounded like a fun session.
A little snap of My marks after My switch session...
Afterwards, I received an email from the same person, saying that he felt much more naturally Dom than he anticipated, and would I consider doing a purely submissive session. As I had already seen him in a switch capacity, and knew his style of Topping suited Me, I said yes. The prospect of exploring submission excited Me. We embarked on a lengthy email conversation, discussing each and every possible activity. I had to think long and hard about what I was willing to do, what I was willing to try, and what I absolutely would not do under any circumstances. His interests aligned perfectly with My limits, and I agreed to 'tutor' him in certain activities so he would know how to do it safely.
We embarked on a series of sessions with Me as the submissive. I was spanked and whipped. Given homework and cleaning tasks. I had hot wax poured over Me, and cold glasses of water thrown over Me. Bound with rope, I tried 'predicament bondage'. I took the cane. My sessions as a submissive explored lots of other things too, but I won't go into too much detail here out of respect and discretion for My Dom. Plus, I'd like to leave your imaginations running a little 😉
Some of the shibari I did in Thailand...
I found a new understanding of what it was like to submit to someone without there being a more sexual aspect to it. It was an interesting experience, being paid to partake in a non-sexual, purely D/s relationship. There were times where I felt this wonderful urge to be good submissive and please My Dominant. There were also times where I found submitting very difficult. I felt somewhat conflicted about accepting payment for something which, at certain points, I did not enjoy. It seemed very much against My work ethos.
Our sessions eventually came to a mutual end. During O/our last session, I felt as though a boundary was crossed (albeit in a minor way). I safeworded, W/we discussed it, and he apologised profusely. Even so, this dampened My trust in My Top. Along with occasionally feeling conflicted about O/our sessions, after that incident I decided that I would likely turn down a future session if He asked for one, but he didn't book in again after that anyway. I think by that point W/we had both gotten all that W/we could from O/our sessions together.
I never advertised that I was doing submissive sessions, and I still don't. To Me, O/our dynamic felt like a one-off. We had spent so much time negotiating limits and that had built up a certain amount of trust between U/us. I also quite firmly believe that My low pain threshold generally makes Me an unsuitable professional submissive. Obviously submissives charge even more than Dominatrixes. I felt like the majority of those looking for a professional submissive would likely want to explore much harder activities than I am comfortable with.
Do I feel as though My few experiences as a submissive has made Me a better Top? Honestly... not really. I gained a little more understanding of Myself, and I gained a little bit of insight into what it is like for My submissives to visit Me, but I don't believe you need to have been a submissive to be a good Domme. To My mind, what makes a great Domme more than experience as a submissive is empathy. When I am caning a submissive, I am doing so whilst reading their body language, checking in verbally if needed, imagining how it feels for them (and obviously enjoying Myself!). I rarely think back to when I took it Myself.
Being on the receiving end of the cane did not teach Me how to administer a caning either empathetically OR safely. Years of practise fuelled by enjoyment did.
Probably the most public display of submission you will ever see from Me... at the Spankathon Porn Protest in 2015
With regards to subbing in the future, I would still like to find someone I could explore submitting with on a personal, perhaps more sexual level. I'm adventurous, and I like experimenting. But, I imagine they would have to be pretty special for it to work judging by all My past experiences... I continue to be a very fussy submissive 🙂
I recently had an incredibly interesting session… a 24 hour long BDSM extravaganza with a very lucky slave indeed. I can only imagine how much a few of you perverted readers would have loved to experienced an entire day in My presence. Serving, worshipping, obeying and most importantly being tormented whenever I so felt like it!
I am currently waiting for My sub to get back to Me with a few paragraphs describing his experience, and will be posting a full blog about it then. I even took some pictures to tease you lot with. As you know is a rarity… the snap/flash of a camera lens is generally too disrupting to a session for My liking. Those of you who follow Me on twitter here will have already seen a few videos I posted during. Here is a small teaser picture of one of the many outfits he had the pleasure of shining for Me…
In the mean time, I have an important announcement, which many of you little losers will no doubt have been waiting for with baited breath…
I am currently accepting applications to serve Me as a filming slave!
There are, of course, a few stipulations you willing film subbies need to abide by…
Firstly, the number 1 fetish I would like to have a slave help Me film is ruined orgasm (no medals for guessing that one). Whilst I believe My instructional POV clips exploring this are excellent, to My fans I doubt anything could beat watching a real ruining dribble out of a real cock 😊
It’s imperative that you are not only happy to take part in this activity, but that you would find it physically easy to do so. Sadly those of you with limp dick or who take an hour of furious beating to ejaculate are probably not suitable to be My film slaves at this time. Those of you who already have a hard dick at the thought of this and who cum easily (or even better can cum multiple times with little respite!) would be perfect!
Ruined orgasm is not the only thing which I am interested in filming. Once I know you I may well take suggestions from you and indulge you in some of your fetishes. That is of course provided I believe My fans would be excited to see your fantasies and that I am legally able to film/sell them.
Secondly, My filming generally takes place on a weekday afternoon. If you can be free to come and film with Me then that would be perfect. Evenings are also a possibility, weekends are not unfortunately.
And lastly, it is important you understand that whilst filming is really fun, it is very different to the ambience of a normal session. There will be bright filming lights, discussion/direction from Me, no background music. If this will not affect your performance or enjoyment, then this is the perfect opportunity for you.
If you meet the above requirements, drop Me an email at email@example.com letting Me know of your interest and availability. I am not asking for any tribute in return. You are welcome to apply even if you have never sessioned with or met Me. You are welcome to appear masked to obscure your identity.
This is a special opportunity for those of you who want to submit to Me. Not only will you experience My speciality, you will help Me produce some hot content in the process!
Mistress Lola Ruin is a deliciously kinky Professional Dominatrix. With over 8 years experience, She therefore holds all of Her sessions at a fully equipped playspace in Manchester. She is a truly world class Domme. As one of the finest Dominas in the North West, Mistress Lola Ruin is especially selective about who She allows in Her Dungeon. Read all Her FemDom exploits on Her Blog. Drool over Her gallery of Pro-Domme photos. Read testimonials written by Her loyal slaves. Lola Ruin also loves to visit London to offer Domination sessions to submissives in the capital. Sign up to Her mailing list and be told of tour dates. Domme Lola Ruin loves all kinds of BDSM play, especially adores Ruined Orgasms, Latex and Foot worship fetishes. A well-known Clips4Sale Mistress, She consequently loves to film Female Domination content for Her loyal subs. Request your own custom clip from Her here.
Today's blog is a Q&A, with questions submitted by My twitter followers.
A Twitter Q&A Session
At what age did you realise your calling to dominate the weak male, and how?
I think I have always had a Dominant side, and was always told as a little girl that I was too bossy. Pretty much as soon as I became interested in sex I also became interested in kink (foot fetishism in particular fascinated Me, and was very much a 'gateway fetish'...). I then began a relationship with a wonderful guy who identified as sub, and this was My first real introduction to more traditional D/s. Although we have since parted ways, I remained Domme 🙂
How long have you been hooping?
I've been hooping for about a year. I have a lot to learn still and sadly not quite as much time to practice anymore. I'd love to learn acro/acroyoga, contact juggling too!
Thailand Beach Makes for the Perfect Hooping Backdrop
How many dommes do you think are into it only for the money, as opposed to at least partly for genuine enthusiasm for BDSM?
I think it would be incredibly hard to really do well at this job, and therefore earn a lot of money, unless you have a genuine interest and understanding of BDSM. Having said that, I have met a fair few Dommes who do not identify as lifestyle players. They are still amazing Dommes. On a slight tangent, I can understand why to our slaves our enjoyment/a genuine interest in BDSM is important, but in general the empowerment rhetoric around sex work really irks Me. Everyone who charges money for what they are doing are doing it for the money. A genuine enjoyment or passion for that is a bonus, in any line of work.
Do you do medical sessions do you like and have any nurse uniforms?
Of course I love to cater for medical fetishes. It ties in so well to so many of My favourite fetishes, ruined orgasm being the most obvious one. I have a couple of nurses uniforms but I am currently looking to upgrade to a new one (very light blue, vintage style latex uniform). No doubt I will post some pictures once it has arrived...
New Nurses Uniform Coming Soon...
What's your favourite aspect when you administer a feminization/sissification session?
I love the process of feminisation, not just in the physical sense but also in the mental sense. As they take on the more feminine clothes, they also take a more feminine role. I love to work out what 'kind' of sissy they are... slutty, girly, shy, confident... This feminine persona can differ so drastically from both their 'vanilla' persona and 'male sub' persona. That particular aspect of transformation is fascinating to Me.
Have you done edging shoejobs with your heel soles rubbing it close to exploding but not allowing relief/rubbed a cock with heels soles and as he is about to cum you step hard on cock with heels stoping it/rubbed a cock with heel soles then as he cums you kick his balls with heels giving painful gasm?
Yes I have done all of those things. I am not going to elaborate here. If you want some wanking material,My Clips4Sale Store has plenty 😉 Here are some previews of some of My latest and upcoming clips...
Ur most important trait in subs and Y: finance, obedience, humor, appearance(include sexiness), openness, or endurance?
Obedience and Openess would likely be the most important to Me. In order to session with Me, a sub must naturally possess both of these qualities. Finance is important insofar as they need to be able to pay for the time they spend with Me. Spoiling Me or showering Me with gifts, although lovely, is never mandatory and so that aspect isn't important. As O/our relationship develops, I would expect their endurance levels to also increase. Appearance does not matter to Me in the slightest when it comes to sessioning slaves (but a piece of submissive eye candy is always a bonus!)
I didn't get a chance to answer all of the questions I was sent, so I will likely repeat a Q&A in the future.
Follow Me if you want to get involved next time... @LolaRuin