An Anniversary…

An Anniversary...

By MistressLolaRuin May 9, 2016

I just realised this past weekend that I passed a milestone in My career as a Professional Dominatrix… the anniversary of when I first started working at My very first Dungeon. It seems fitting to write a blog to reflect and celebrate 🙂

The first photo of Me to ever appear online, a candid shot from before I became a PD. Some things (like My addiction to rubber) never change...
The first photo of Me to ever appear online, a candid shot from before I became a PD. Some things (like My addiction to rubber) never change...

I adore what I do for a living, and I think the past year in particular I have fallen in love with it all over again. Before I became a Domme, I worked an awful minimum wage call centre job, which was the only job I could get after graduating into a recession. The anti-sex work brigade always cite ‘economic coercion’ as a major reason why people enter the adult industry (personally I'm pretty sure anyone who has a job is economically coerced into it...), and whilst it was true that it was certainly the best career choice available to Me financially, it was also the most fun, exciting, interesting, stimulating, flexible… I could go on and on. Even now years later, when I could conceivably find another profession much more easily than I could as a recent graduate, I wouldn't want to.
 

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A shot from My first professional photoshoot. I hadn't started showing My face yet.

Don’t get Me wrong, there have been a few lows… when long serving, loyal slaves have moved on or been dismissed, when the government brings out legislation without consultation or warning that seriously impacts you, and when the slew of time-wasters that all Us Dommes have to put up with have outnumbered the sessions. When the work just isn’t there it can be pretty disheartening, and when you are in a sense selling yourself, it’s hard not to take those quiet spells personally. Not to mention the social stigma that can be attached to working in the adult industry... How that affects what friends/families/strangers/society think of you, how dating can be a minefield, how it can affect your future career choices and all the associated issues people working in My industry face (and on which I could write a dissertation about...)
 

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A snapshot from one of My very first clips when I started regularly filming for My C4S Store

But… the highs by far outnumber those lows, and the truth is that I LOVE My job. It has allowed Me to do so many incredible things, and I have ticked off some amazing goals I had, both professional and personal. I've travelled and toured internationally. I opened My clip store and consequently filmed for the amazing English Mansion, whom were so lovely to Me. I’ve met so many interesting and inspiring people professionally (both Dommes and subs) and personally I’ve slowly surrounded Myself with the most incredible group of friends whom accept what I do and are proud of Me for doing it. I’ve supported and cared for family members through tough times, which I absolutely would not have been able to do in any other job. I’ve been bought wonderful gifts by wonderfully generous slaves. It has allowed Me to be incredibly independent, and given Me financial freedom. I have become more confident, happy, self-assured...
And of course, I have had a ridiculous amount of kinky fun!
 

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A snapshot from when I filmed for the fabulous English Mansion last year... go check out all their amazing content here!

I also think that what I do is important, in it’s own way... I am sure a fair few of My subs agree with that sentiment. I have blogged before about how therapeutic I think BDSM can be, and I still very much believe that to be true. I love the idea that I create a safe space where My subs can relinquish control and explore aspects of their sexuality they otherwise wouldn't be able to. Doing that gives Me a real sense of fulfilment, which I am not sure another job could offer Me.
 

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One of the most recent photos of Me, a quick snap between sessions a few weeks ago...

So to all My slaves, subs, clips fans, and of course all you loyal blog readers, thank you for your continued support. It means a lot 🙂
 
Choose a job you love, and never work a day in your life…
 
Until next time…

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Reality VS. Fantasy…

Reality VS. Fantasy...

By MistressLolaRuin March 30, 2016

Earlier this week I welcomed a new novice slave into My chambers for his very first session. Afterwards, he sent Me an incredibly insightful email about his thoughts and (with his permission) here is a small excerpt which I thought I would discuss in further detail…
I was also really surprised and impressed by the way you conducted yourself in and out of our session, the contrast in personalities was not something I had expected, and correct me if I'm wrong but it really goes to show how societal conventions have forced us as humans to adapt in a manner that sufficiently satisfy the expectations and demands associated with our given environment. If you don't mind me asking, when dommes such as yourself and Mistress Noir in this case, were laughing and mocking me during our session, was this a partially forced gesture for the sake of keeping to character, or did you really take genuine pleasure in seeing me act in that slavish manner, again within character?

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Reality VS. Fantasy...


Of course, I do get genuine pleasure from My sessions. I don’t accept sessions that don’t interest Me, and My services list is notably missing a few incredibly popular activities for the simple reason that I don’t enjoy and/or wish to engage in them with My submissives. It is important to Me that My work never feels like work, and I would rather lose out on sessions than accept anyone and everyone for the sake of My bank balance.
But there are other things at play in what My slave has said here too. There are a few reasons why My personality appears different during play time than outside of it…
It puts My new submissives at ease…
If I were to go into My consultations all guns blazing, I doubt My slaves would feel able to freely discuss their desires openly. Plus, not everyone is looking for the same thing. What My submissives desire from serving Me ranges. Some simply wish to relinquish control to Me for an hour of their day. Others are looking to be initiated into long-term D/s servitude, which takes time and training. I don't believe either are inhibited by informality outside of play time.
I don’t believe in giving anything away for free!
If you email, call, tweet Me, you can expect Me to be courteous, professional, even sweet to you. This is not because I am not Dominant, it’s because I am not stupid… those who contact Me wish to be Dominated, and often that includes being degraded, humiliated, talked down to. I am fully aware of this, and also aware that there are many unscrupulous slaves. These slaves have no intention of ever tributing, and contact Me with inane questions/requests simply to get a rise from Me. In which case, I (politely) say no.
Only after you have tributed can you expect to feel My wrath… 🙂
I do not lead a 24/7 lifestyle…
I am sure many of My subs like to think I roll out of My bed straight into a latex catsuit, bark orders at everyone I encounter and permanently have a whip attached to My hand. I am afraid that is not the case. Not only would that be exhausting, but also incredibly impractical… I doubt I would get very far in life at all if I went around treating everyone as My submissives.
…But I love to play professionally and personally!
I was a bossy child, and I have always been kinky. Most Dommes I know say the same. Now that I am older, I'm a fairly zen, laid back person. My play time, both professional and personal, gives Me the opportunity to tap into an aspect of My character which isn’t viable for Me to live out all day every day.

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A photo from a recent holiday, if only to prove I don't live in latex and thigh boots!


Perhaps there will be some people reading this who will take the above as a chance to call into question My integrity as a Domme. That what I have said means I am not really lifestyle, not a true Dominant, not genuine. But in reality, the above is also true for so many of My submissives. Outside of O/our play, they are generally alpha, business men with a-type personalities. They lead stressful lives which they exert huge amounts of control over. I don't question their submission as a result.
Until next time…

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