Back to Sessions…

Back to Sessions...

By MistressLolaRuin | February 6, 2018

After an extended break, I am thankfully feeling so much better. I have already returned to sessions, and over the next couple of weeks will be easing Myself back into webcam sessions and filming.

My down time did Me the world of good. Anyone who has also experienced depression could probably agree with Me how difficult it can be to manage. Most of all, I just felt completely overwhelmed and emotionally exhausted.

My work was not at all the cause, but it had become a major cause of stress. Worrying that I wasn't replying to emails quick enough. Feeling anxious that I wasn't filming as much as I should. The level of admin involved in Pro-Domming is huge, and I was falling behind and feeling more burdened by the day.

I did not anticipate the response I got when I announced My break and reasons for doing so. Hundreds of messages of support poured in. I was blown away by how understanding everyone was, and how generous people are when they know you're struggling. If you ever feel like that, don't hesitate to tell those around you... peoples willingness to help will surprise you.

Thank you to everyone who messaged Me during My break. I can't put into words how much I appreciated it.

Now that I am back, I am also making a few changes to My sessions.

Strap-on and Anal Play

Firstly, and probably most exciting to some of you, is the reintroduction of strap on and anal play into My sessions. After a few bad experiences early in My career I decided to take this off My fetishes list. In My personal life I never stopped pegging though, and My enjoyment has been rekindled even more recently. So, for all you anal sluts, I am once again happy to train and violate you this way... 🙂

Same Day Availability

Secondly, I am going to start offering same day sessions, with some caveats. I will need at least 3 hours notice, and I will need a small deposit sent prior to Me travelling into the chambers to see you (unless of course you are a loyal, regular serving slave). I do not want to waste time travelling into the dungeon for no show slaves when I could instead be at home filming, editing or webcamming. For those genuine subs amongst you, I doubt a little gift voucher to prove you are worthy of My attention will deter you.

If you want a same day session, then I suggest calling Me to check I am available. It would still be most helpful if you could fill out My slave application form prior to the start of your session, but perhaps do so after you have already confirmed I can accommodate your session.

Double Domme Sessions

Lastly, I am now offering Double Domme sessions with My dear friend Mistress Pomf! A little about Her in Her own words...

"I am American professional Dominatrix Mistress Pomf. With divine features, a voice like velvet that simultaneously soothes, titillates, and claws into you, and a mind trained in the art of domination, I will leave you floating in the ecstasy of submission. My greatest enjoyment is derived from My expertise in the art of humiliation and mindfucking, although I delight in giving physical punishments to My pain sluts. My style is unpredictable, ranging from brilliant verbals to the eerie power of silence.  I am often described as a sadist with the dirtiest laugh and most devilish smile."

You can find out more about Her on Her own website here...

MistressPomf.com

If you are brave enough to commit to a Double Domme session, get in touch with either of Us to see if We will allow you the chance to serve...

My next blog is going to be a Q&A blog, as I have previously done on Twitter. If you have a burning question you would like to ask Me, feel free to respond on there.

Until next time…
 

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Mistress Lola Ruin is a deliciously kinky Professional Dominatrix. With over 8 years experience, She therefore holds all of Her sessions at a fully equipped playspace in Manchester. She is a truly world class Domme. As one of the finest Dominas in the North West, Mistress Lola Ruin is especially selective about who She allows in Her Dungeon. Read all Her FemDom exploits on Her Blog. Drool over Her gallery of Pro-Domme photos. Read testimonials written by Her loyal slaves. Lola Ruin also loves to visit London to offer Domination sessions to submissives in the capital. Sign up to Her mailing list and be told of tour dates. Domme Lola Ruin loves all kinds of BDSM play, especially adores Ruined Orgasms, Latex and Foot worship fetishes. A well-known Clips4Sale Mistress, She consequently loves to film Female Domination content for Her loyal subs. Request your own custom clip from Her here.

Until next time...

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My submissive experience…

My submissive experience...

By MistressLolaRuin July 11, 2017

As a little backstory to this blog, those of you who follow Me on twitter will have seen I have recently been the subject of harassment. I use recently as a loose term, as this person in question has been hounding Me for well over a year. He has contacted Me through My website, My niteflirt account, My email, and now Twitter. He has also tried to canvass over Dommes and even My submissives. The backstory is that I was briefly in discussion with him regarding a custom clip he wanted, with Me starring as a submissive. I turned him down, as what he wanted was well beyond My comfort limits. It has, however, inspired Me to write this. I thought you loyal readers may find it interesting to hear of My limited experience in your shoes.

Fresh faced, slightly intoxicated, and rocking some steampunk ropework...

I have never been a natural submissive. When I first discovered BDSM with My ex-partner in My early 20's, he identified solely as submissive, and this suited Me perfectly. It allowed Me to really explore and develop My style as a Domme (which has continued to evolve throughout My career). One night, being the adventurous couple W/we were, we decided to attempt switching. He put My legs in a binder, tied My hands up and behind My head and slipped a blindfold on Me. 30 seconds later, if that, I safeworded. An overwhelming sense of claustrophobia struck Me. We didn't ever try switching again.

My ex-partner and I parted ways a few years after that, and I began to explore My sexuality as a single person. I decided that I would try to avoid dating anyone who identified solely as submissive. Topping at both work and at home was burning Me out. As you can imagine though, when you are so open about being a Dominatrix, attracting partners who aren't submissive can be somewhat difficult 🙂

I thought that perhaps I would try submission again, now a few years after My last attempt. I find shibari both artistic and relaxing, so I've quite enjoyed being tied up a few times. During My trip to Thailand last year I took part in a 6 hour long, meditative shibari session. Although good experiences, these were really lacking of any D/s dynamic.

I also dabbled with a couple of casual partners who indulged My desire to try subbing. I've probably tried it four or five times total. To be completely honest, I spent most occasions (silently) critiquing technique and comparing it to what I would do...! Sadly, it is difficult not to when you are submitting to someone much less experienced at Topping than you are.

My first attempt at suspension.

My desire to have a more successful, enjoyable attempt grew. You'll often hear people categorise the submissives of Pro-Dommes as powerful, Type-A, business types, looking for release from their high pressure lives (although I'm of the opinion that the high tributes Us Dommes demand may well make that a biased sample!). My work was becoming more demanding each year. More and more men were submitting to My every whim and paying Me for the privilege. Psychologically, the idea of giving up control to someone else was becoming more and more attractive, as it was in stark contrast to the rest of My life. Like My type-A subs, I started to see such an experience as 'freeing'.

Then last year I had a potential submissive contact Me asking for a 'switch' session, whereby I would sub to him for the first half, before getting My own back as a Top the second half. The activities he wanted to explore with Me as a submissive were all fairly soft and within My limits, so I agreed. It sounded like a fun session.

A little snap of My marks after My switch session...

Afterwards, I received an email from the same person, saying that he felt much more naturally Dom than he anticipated, and would I consider doing a purely submissive session. As I had already seen him in a switch capacity, and knew his style of Topping suited Me, I said yes. The prospect of exploring submission excited Me. We embarked on a lengthy email conversation, discussing each and every possible activity. I had to think long and hard about what I was willing to do, what I was willing to try, and what I absolutely would not do under any circumstances. His interests aligned perfectly with My limits, and I agreed to 'tutor' him in certain activities so he would know how to do it safely.

We embarked on a series of sessions with Me as the submissive. I was spanked and whipped. Given homework and cleaning tasks. I had hot wax poured over Me, and cold glasses of water thrown over Me. Bound with rope, I tried 'predicament bondage'. I took the cane. My sessions as a submissive explored lots of other things too, but I won't go into too much detail here out of respect and discretion for My Dom. Plus, I'd like to leave your imaginations running a little 😉

Some of the shibari I did in Thailand...

I found a new understanding of what it was like to submit to someone without there being a more sexual aspect to it. It was an interesting experience, being paid to partake in a non-sexual, purely D/s relationship. There were times where I felt this wonderful urge to be good submissive and please My Dominant. There were also times where I found submitting very difficult. I felt somewhat conflicted about accepting payment for something which, at certain points, I did not enjoy. It seemed very much against My work ethos.

Our sessions eventually came to a mutual end. During O/our last session, I felt as though a boundary was crossed (albeit in a minor way). I safeworded, W/we discussed it, and he apologised profusely. Even so, this dampened My trust in My Top. Along with occasionally feeling conflicted about O/our sessions, after that incident I decided that I would likely turn down a future session if He asked for one, but he didn't book in again after that anyway. I think by that point W/we had both gotten all that W/we could from O/our sessions together.

I never advertised that I was doing submissive sessions, and I still don't. To Me, O/our dynamic felt like a one-off. We had spent so much time negotiating limits and that had built up a certain amount of trust between U/us. I also quite firmly believe that My low pain threshold generally makes Me an unsuitable professional submissive. Obviously submissives charge even more than Dominatrixes. I felt like the majority of those looking for a professional submissive would likely want to explore much harder activities than I am comfortable with.

Do I feel as though My few experiences as a submissive has made Me a better Top? Honestly... not really. I gained a little more understanding of Myself, and I gained a little bit of insight into what it is like for My submissives to visit Me, but I don't believe you need to have been a submissive to be a good Domme. To My mind, what makes a great Domme more than experience as a submissive is empathy. When I am caning a submissive, I am doing so whilst reading their body language, checking in verbally if needed, imagining how it feels for them (and obviously enjoying Myself!). I rarely think back to when I took it Myself.

Being on the receiving end of the cane did not teach Me how to administer a caning either empathetically OR safely. Years of practise fuelled by enjoyment did.

Probably the most public display of submission you will ever see from Me... at the Spankathon Porn Protest in 2015

With regards to subbing in the future, I would still like to find someone I could explore submitting with on a personal, perhaps more sexual level. I'm adventurous, and I like experimenting. But, I imagine they would have to be pretty special for it to work judging by all My past experiences... I continue to be a very fussy submissive 🙂

Until next time…

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My Love of Latex…

My Love of Latex...

By MistressLolaRuin | September 27, 2016

It's obvious from My galleries and tweets just how much I love latex clothing. My collection is constantly growing, and when I bought a new double wardrobe a couple of months ago, one half of it was immediately assigned to holding all of My rubber. It is already overflowing.

Image of Professional Dominatrix Manchester Mistress Lola Ruin in Latex Rubber

My first latex catsuit...


Today, I thought I would give you a closer look at one of My favourite fetishes, explaining in more detail what it is about latex that I personally find so erotic.

Image of Professional Dominatrix Manchester Mistress Lola Ruin in Latex Rubber

Corsetted Latex Dress from House of Harlot


Firstly, I adore the way that latex looks. The ultra glossy finish, and super tight fit which seems to accentuate every curve whilst pulling Me in in all the right places. This is even more obvious when I pour Myself in My favourite piece, My corsetted catsuit from House of Harlot. Gifted to Me by a wonderfully generous slave, whom loves latex almost as much as I do...

Image of Professional Dominatrix Manchester Mistress Lola Ruin in Latex Rubber

My Favourite Piece... quite the accolade!


I also love the way that latex feels. I immediately feel sexier, more dominant, more 'fetishistic'. Simply the feeling of a tight second skin around Me is so erotic. How sensual it feels, both restrictive and slippy when I have lubed up to get into it. How warm it is been wearing it for hours and have built up a sweat inside. I recently had a bath whilst wearing the catsuit pictured above, and this was a whole new sensation. A dip into a swimming pool whilst head to toe in rubber is near the top of My bucket list as a result...

Image of Professional Dominatrix Manchester Mistress Lola Ruins Latest Latex

Latest Purchase. An early birthday present to Myself from Westward Bound


I know some people don't like the smell of latex... I am not one of those people. Having said that, this is an aspect of My 'fetish' which has grown alongside with My collection. A by product of My love of latex which I now love in it's own right. I once walked into a latex shop during a heatwave, and that rubber smell was so overpowering... Gorgeous.

Image of Professional Dominatrix Manchester Mistress Lola Ruin in Latex Rubber

Military Latex Dress...


As with many BDSM activities or fetishes, I also love the 'ritual' of it. Caring for it. Washing it in vivishine, polishing it with Pjur Cult. Talcing it and storing it. It is one of the few 'chores' I actually enjoy doing. And of course, dressing in it is a ritual in itself. Taking My time to coat Myself in a thin layer of lube. Sliding, working, pouring My way into it.

Image of Professional Dominatrix Manchester Mistress Lola Ruin's Latex Rubber Collection

Laundry Day...


I love how latex is now seen as a little more fashionable/mainstream, thanks to the likes of Kim K, Katy Perry, Gaga and so on. I can wear it out in a vanilla setting without much fuss, and I tend to only get compliments on it. Occasionally, I like to give My vanilla life just a touch of fetish like this. In a way, it's one of the things I love most about BDSM. How it can so easily be subtle in public. Although I admit, going to the bathroom in a club is a pain, it is worth it. I have always loved to play dress up anyway.

Image of Professional Dominatrix Manchester Mistress Lola Ruin in Latex Rubber

In the dressing room of a high street clothes shop. Latex has gone mainstream it seems...


To say I am a heavy rubberist would likely be a step too far. I don't need to be dressed head to toe in latex to get Me off sexually. But in the same way I adore a gorgeous pair of patent shoes that accentuates My high arches, or a well boned corset that laces My waist down to a tiny size, I love latex and the transformative power of it.

Until next time…

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Reality VS. Fantasy…

Reality VS. Fantasy...

By MistressLolaRuin March 30, 2016

Earlier this week I welcomed a new novice slave into My chambers for his very first session. Afterwards, he sent Me an incredibly insightful email about his thoughts and (with his permission) here is a small excerpt which I thought I would discuss in further detail…
I was also really surprised and impressed by the way you conducted yourself in and out of our session, the contrast in personalities was not something I had expected, and correct me if I'm wrong but it really goes to show how societal conventions have forced us as humans to adapt in a manner that sufficiently satisfy the expectations and demands associated with our given environment. If you don't mind me asking, when dommes such as yourself and Mistress Noir in this case, were laughing and mocking me during our session, was this a partially forced gesture for the sake of keeping to character, or did you really take genuine pleasure in seeing me act in that slavish manner, again within character?

steve-satin_6762(editcrop)

Reality VS. Fantasy...


Of course, I do get genuine pleasure from My sessions. I don’t accept sessions that don’t interest Me, and My services list is notably missing a few incredibly popular activities for the simple reason that I don’t enjoy and/or wish to engage in them with My submissives. It is important to Me that My work never feels like work, and I would rather lose out on sessions than accept anyone and everyone for the sake of My bank balance.
But there are other things at play in what My slave has said here too. There are a few reasons why My personality appears different during play time than outside of it…
It puts My new submissives at ease…
If I were to go into My consultations all guns blazing, I doubt My slaves would feel able to freely discuss their desires openly. Plus, not everyone is looking for the same thing. What My submissives desire from serving Me ranges. Some simply wish to relinquish control to Me for an hour of their day. Others are looking to be initiated into long-term D/s servitude, which takes time and training. I don't believe either are inhibited by informality outside of play time.
I don’t believe in giving anything away for free!
If you email, call, tweet Me, you can expect Me to be courteous, professional, even sweet to you. This is not because I am not Dominant, it’s because I am not stupid… those who contact Me wish to be Dominated, and often that includes being degraded, humiliated, talked down to. I am fully aware of this, and also aware that there are many unscrupulous slaves. These slaves have no intention of ever tributing, and contact Me with inane questions/requests simply to get a rise from Me. In which case, I (politely) say no.
Only after you have tributed can you expect to feel My wrath… 🙂
I do not lead a 24/7 lifestyle…
I am sure many of My subs like to think I roll out of My bed straight into a latex catsuit, bark orders at everyone I encounter and permanently have a whip attached to My hand. I am afraid that is not the case. Not only would that be exhausting, but also incredibly impractical… I doubt I would get very far in life at all if I went around treating everyone as My submissives.
…But I love to play professionally and personally!
I was a bossy child, and I have always been kinky. Most Dommes I know say the same. Now that I am older, I'm a fairly zen, laid back person. My play time, both professional and personal, gives Me the opportunity to tap into an aspect of My character which isn’t viable for Me to live out all day every day.

zoo

A photo from a recent holiday, if only to prove I don't live in latex and thigh boots!


Perhaps there will be some people reading this who will take the above as a chance to call into question My integrity as a Domme. That what I have said means I am not really lifestyle, not a true Dominant, not genuine. But in reality, the above is also true for so many of My submissives. Outside of O/our play, they are generally alpha, business men with a-type personalities. They lead stressful lives which they exert huge amounts of control over. I don't question their submission as a result.
Until next time…

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