My submissive experience…

My submissive experience...

By MistressLolaRuin July 11, 2017

As a little backstory to this blog, those of you who follow Me on twitter will have seen I have recently been the subject of harassment. I use recently as a loose term, as this person in question has been hounding Me for well over a year. He has contacted Me through My website, My niteflirt account, My email, and now Twitter. He has also tried to canvass over Dommes and even My submissives. The backstory is that I was briefly in discussion with him regarding a custom clip he wanted, with Me starring as a submissive. I turned him down, as what he wanted was well beyond My comfort limits. It has, however, inspired Me to write this. I thought you loyal readers may find it interesting to hear of My limited experience in your shoes.

Fresh faced, slightly intoxicated, and rocking some steampunk ropework...

I have never been a natural submissive. When I first discovered BDSM with My ex-partner in My early 20's, he identified solely as submissive, and this suited Me perfectly. It allowed Me to really explore and develop My style as a Domme (which has continued to evolve throughout My career). One night, being the adventurous couple W/we were, we decided to attempt switching. He put My legs in a binder, tied My hands up and behind My head and slipped a blindfold on Me. 30 seconds later, if that, I safeworded. An overwhelming sense of claustrophobia struck Me. We didn't ever try switching again.

My ex-partner and I parted ways a few years after that, and I began to explore My sexuality as a single person. I decided that I would try to avoid dating anyone who identified solely as submissive. Topping at both work and at home was burning Me out. As you can imagine though, when you are so open about being a Dominatrix, attracting partners who aren't submissive can be somewhat difficult 🙂

I thought that perhaps I would try submission again, now a few years after My last attempt. I find shibari both artistic and relaxing, so I've quite enjoyed being tied up a few times. During My trip to Thailand last year I took part in a 6 hour long, meditative shibari session. Although good experiences, these were really lacking of any D/s dynamic.

I also dabbled with a couple of casual partners who indulged My desire to try subbing. I've probably tried it four or five times total. To be completely honest, I spent most occasions (silently) critiquing technique and comparing it to what I would do...! Sadly, it is difficult not to when you are submitting to someone much less experienced at Topping than you are.

My first attempt at suspension.

My desire to have a more successful, enjoyable attempt grew. You'll often hear people categorise the submissives of Pro-Dommes as powerful, Type-A, business types, looking for release from their high pressure lives (although I'm of the opinion that the high tributes Us Dommes demand may well make that a biased sample!). My work was becoming more demanding each year. More and more men were submitting to My every whim and paying Me for the privilege. Psychologically, the idea of giving up control to someone else was becoming more and more attractive, as it was in stark contrast to the rest of My life. Like My type-A subs, I started to see such an experience as 'freeing'.

Then last year I had a potential submissive contact Me asking for a 'switch' session, whereby I would sub to him for the first half, before getting My own back as a Top the second half. The activities he wanted to explore with Me as a submissive were all fairly soft and within My limits, so I agreed. It sounded like a fun session.

A little snap of My marks after My switch session...

Afterwards, I received an email from the same person, saying that he felt much more naturally Dom than he anticipated, and would I consider doing a purely submissive session. As I had already seen him in a switch capacity, and knew his style of Topping suited Me, I said yes. The prospect of exploring submission excited Me. We embarked on a lengthy email conversation, discussing each and every possible activity. I had to think long and hard about what I was willing to do, what I was willing to try, and what I absolutely would not do under any circumstances. His interests aligned perfectly with My limits, and I agreed to 'tutor' him in certain activities so he would know how to do it safely.

We embarked on a series of sessions with Me as the submissive. I was spanked and whipped. Given homework and cleaning tasks. I had hot wax poured over Me, and cold glasses of water thrown over Me. Bound with rope, I tried 'predicament bondage'. I took the cane. My sessions as a submissive explored lots of other things too, but I won't go into too much detail here out of respect and discretion for My Dom. Plus, I'd like to leave your imaginations running a little 😉

Some of the shibari I did in Thailand...

I found a new understanding of what it was like to submit to someone without there being a more sexual aspect to it. It was an interesting experience, being paid to partake in a non-sexual, purely D/s relationship. There were times where I felt this wonderful urge to be good submissive and please My Dominant. There were also times where I found submitting very difficult. I felt somewhat conflicted about accepting payment for something which, at certain points, I did not enjoy. It seemed very much against My work ethos.

Our sessions eventually came to a mutual end. During O/our last session, I felt as though a boundary was crossed (albeit in a minor way). I safeworded, W/we discussed it, and he apologised profusely. Even so, this dampened My trust in My Top. Along with occasionally feeling conflicted about O/our sessions, after that incident I decided that I would likely turn down a future session if He asked for one, but he didn't book in again after that anyway. I think by that point W/we had both gotten all that W/we could from O/our sessions together.

I never advertised that I was doing submissive sessions, and I still don't. To Me, O/our dynamic felt like a one-off. We had spent so much time negotiating limits and that had built up a certain amount of trust between U/us. I also quite firmly believe that My low pain threshold generally makes Me an unsuitable professional submissive. Obviously submissives charge even more than Dominatrixes. I felt like the majority of those looking for a professional submissive would likely want to explore much harder activities than I am comfortable with.

Do I feel as though My few experiences as a submissive has made Me a better Top? Honestly... not really. I gained a little more understanding of Myself, and I gained a little bit of insight into what it is like for My submissives to visit Me, but I don't believe you need to have been a submissive to be a good Domme. To My mind, what makes a great Domme more than experience as a submissive is empathy. When I am caning a submissive, I am doing so whilst reading their body language, checking in verbally if needed, imagining how it feels for them (and obviously enjoying Myself!). I rarely think back to when I took it Myself.

Being on the receiving end of the cane did not teach Me how to administer a caning either empathetically OR safely. Years of practise fuelled by enjoyment did.

Probably the most public display of submission you will ever see from Me... at the Spankathon Porn Protest in 2015

With regards to subbing in the future, I would still like to find someone I could explore submitting with on a personal, perhaps more sexual level. I'm adventurous, and I like experimenting. But, I imagine they would have to be pretty special for it to work judging by all My past experiences... I continue to be a very fussy submissive 🙂

Until next time…

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A Special Opportunity…

A Special Opportunity...

By MistressLolaRuin | April 5, 2017

I recently had an incredibly interesting session… a 24 hour long BDSM extravaganza with a very lucky slave indeed. I can only imagine how much a few of you perverted readers would have loved to experienced an entire day in My presence. Serving, worshipping, obeying and most importantly being tormented whenever I so felt like it!

I am currently waiting for My sub to get back to Me with a few paragraphs describing his experience, and will be posting a full blog about it then. I even took some pictures to tease you lot with. As you know is a rarity… the snap/flash of a camera lens is generally too disrupting to a session for My liking. Those of you who follow Me on twitter here will have already seen a few videos I posted during. Here is a small teaser picture of one of the many outfits he had the pleasure of shining for Me…

Manchester-Dominatrix-Manchester-Mistress-Lola-Ruin


In the mean time, I have an important announcement, which many of you little losers will no doubt have been waiting for with baited breath…

I am currently accepting applications to serve Me as a filming slave!

There are, of course, a few stipulations you willing film subbies need to abide by…

Firstly, the number 1 fetish I would like to have a slave help Me film is ruined orgasm (no medals for guessing that one). Whilst I believe My instructional POV clips exploring this are excellent, to My fans I doubt anything could beat watching a real ruining dribble out of a real cock 😊

It’s imperative that you are not only happy to take part in this activity, but that you would find it physically easy to do so. Sadly those of you with limp dick or who take an hour of furious beating to ejaculate are probably not suitable to be My film slaves at this time. Those of you who already have a hard dick at the thought of this and who cum easily (or even better can cum multiple times with little respite!) would be perfect!


Ruined orgasm is not the only thing which I am interested in filming. Once I know you I may well take suggestions from you and indulge you in some of your fetishes. That is of course provided I believe My fans would be excited to see your fantasies and that I am legally able to film/sell them.

Secondly, My filming generally takes place on a weekday afternoon. If you can be free to come and film with Me then that would be perfect. Evenings are also a possibility, weekends are not unfortunately.

And lastly, it is important you understand that whilst filming is really fun, it is very different to the ambience of a normal session. There will be bright filming lights, discussion/direction from Me, no background music. If this will not affect your performance or enjoyment, then this is the perfect opportunity for you.

If you meet the above requirements, drop Me an email at [email protected] letting Me know of your interest and availability. I am not asking for any tribute in return. You are welcome to apply even if you have never sessioned with or met Me. You are welcome to appear masked to obscure your identity.

This is a special opportunity for those of you who want to submit to Me. Not only will you experience My speciality, you will help Me produce some hot content in the process!

Until next time…

•   Browse My Website    •   Follow on Twitter   •   Apply to Serve  •   Read My Blog   •

Mistress Lola Ruin is a deliciously kinky Professional Dominatrix. With over 8 years experience, She therefore holds all of Her sessions at a fully equipped playspace in Manchester. She is a truly world class Domme. As one of the finest Dominas in the North West, Mistress Lola Ruin is especially selective about who She allows in Her Dungeon. Read all Her FemDom exploits on Her Blog. Drool over Her gallery of Pro-Domme photos. Read testimonials written by Her loyal slaves. Lola Ruin also loves to visit London to offer Domination sessions to submissives in the capital. Sign up to Her mailing list and be told of tour dates. Domme Lola Ruin loves all kinds of BDSM play, especially adores Ruined Orgasms, Latex and Foot worship fetishes. A well-known Clips4Sale Mistress, She consequently loves to film Female Domination content for Her loyal subs. Request your own custom clip from Her here.

Back to Filming…

Back to Filming...

By MistressLolaRuin April 19, 2016

A very quick update today to let you know that after a fairly long and haphazard hiatus, I am finally getting back into filming!
Unfortunately when certain regulations came into effect in December 2014, I became very disheartened. I continued to take custom requests from My most loyal fans but I moved away from filming for filming sake. It just seemed silly to Me to pool My time and resources into an aspect of My business which could become further criminalised at any time and without warning.
Now some time has passed though, and I feel a little better about putting out new content. Especially seeing as My clips are mostly provocative, non-nude POV style clips and not really traditionally pornographic in nature. I am sure this will make many of you as happy as it makes Me!
When I have a little more time I may well write a longer blog post about My views on censorship and pornography, but in the mean time here is some eye candy, teaser snapshots from My latest uploads…

striptease
stockingslave
spitruin
pantythief
loublick

You can check out all of these plus My past content here...
My C4S Store
I will now be filming one day per week, so plenty of regular updates with new content will be coming soon.
Of course you are welcome to submit a request for a custom clip here…
Custom Clip Request Form
Until next time…

•   Browse My Website    •   Follow on Twitter   •   Apply to Serve  •   Read My Blog   •