FemDom, Power and Submission to your Domme

Hello all, I wanted to discuss the truth about BDSM communities and The Physiology of Play!

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Femme Domme Sessions In Person – Manchester Incalls

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The acronym B.D.S.M. was first published in a Usenet publication way back in 1991. At the time it was logically interpreted as a combination of the abbreviations B/D (Bondage and Discipline), D/s (Dominance and Submission) and S/M (Sadism and Masochism) which were shortened to the 4 letters we all know so well… BDSM. The term “Femdom” originated in the BDSM community in the late 20th century. It is a shortened form of “Female Domination.” If you’re familiar with my work, you’ve likely come across both these terms before!

What does BDSM mean and what’s the culture like.. and subcultures?

As an umbrella, catch-all phrase, BDSM covers a wide and varied range of activities, many different forms of interpersonal relationships (including those paid and those for pleasure), as well as distinct subcultures. Around the world these subcultures vary from region to region, their popularity dependent on nuances and differences between each language and cultural acceptance. You can even go further down the rabbit hole and find subcultures within subcultures… From leather daddies in the Dyke community, all the way through to TradWives on TikTok (yes, it is clearly a fetish, lol)

Kinky Ballet – Rope Play with Master and submissive and Dominant

In the BDSM world, we’ve used the terms submissive and dominant to distinguish these roles. The dominant partner, or in my case “Domme”, takes on psychological control over the submissive, or “sub”. There are other terms too, like “top” and “bottom”, and activity specific terms such as ‘Rigger’ and ‘bunny’ for rope play. The one at the top instigates an action, while the one at the bottom is the recipient. Think of it like a weird, kinky ballet – everyone has their part to play. But remember, these roles can be fluid and self-identification can be a hot topic of debate among BDSM participants. Although the inferior performs the action and the superior receives it, roles have not necessarily been exchanged.

The abbreviations sub and Dom are often used in place of submissive and Dominant. Sometimes the female-specific terms Mistress, Dominatrix, Domina and Domme are used to describe a Dominant woman, instead of the sometimes gender-neutral term Dominant, with Master and Dom usually referring to Dominant men. Individuals who transition from the superior/dominant role to the inferior/submissive role, either from one relationship to another or within a given relationship, are called switches.

At the heart of all of this, is a Power Play…

Power Inequality Increases the Experience Excitement with Implication.

I’d like to recognise that generally speaking, BDSM communities are super welcoming anyone with a non-normative streak who identifies with the community; it’s accepting to Queer folks, marginalised genders, body modification enthusiasts with tattoos and piercings, role-players, rubber fetishists and everything in between (so long as you’re respectful, understand and practice consent, and crucially, aren’t creepy).

In the BDSM community, the dynamics of activities and relationships often involve willing participants embracing complementary roles and recognising power imbalances. So, as I mentioned above, it’s really important that everyone involved gives ongoing, informed consent. While written agreements might not always be used, chatting about boundaries and building trust are paramount to having a good experience. I personally believe it’s crucial to establish a unique ‘safe word’ or phrase ahead of time for each relationship or casual play session. Whilst this may be forgone once you know and trust each other, it’s essential for first time encounters. This shared safe word should be highly respected, with the promise to never overlook or violate a partner’s trust. Anyone who doesn’t treat safe words with this respect aren’t welcome in the BDSM community very long.

The physiology of BDSM play

In this fun and exciting world of BDSM, the hormone Oxytocin – the chemical often associated with love and affection – plays a big part in bonding and savouring those shared moments between play partners. This special hormone linked to trust and desire can make a grand entrance during physical contact and the thrilling anticipation of BDSM play sessions. This chemical reaction supercharges the unique trust dynamics and respect for boundaries, which are the heart and soul of the BDSM community.

Read more of my articles on subjects close to my heart, and hopefully yours too.

Noradrenaline and Adrenaline – The Arousal Alerts

These hormone and neurotransmitter is linked to arousal and alertness. Increasing both your heart rate and blood pressure, they prepare your body for action and reaction. The excitement, desire, longing and nervousness my submissives may be feeling before their first session with me triggers the release of these. When both norepinephrine and adrenaline is released into the bloodstream, your delicious stress and excitement encourages a surge of the body’s “fight or flight” responses. Your energy levels will be overflowing as the hours countdown to play.

Cognitive Resource Allocation: The brain has a finite amount of cognitive resources at any given time. Excitement and anticipation can consume a significant portion of these resources, leading to a phenomenon known as “cognitive load.” When cognitive resources are focused on an upcoming event, there’s less available for other tasks, potentially impairing performance in work or other activities requiring concentration.

Have you ever considered why you fumble when you first arrive, or why you struggle to follow simple instructions given by your Domme? Now you know why.

The Impact of Excitement and Foreplay on Cognitive Load

This can also have an understandably impact on our emotional world as they do our psychological. Our emotions, such as excitement and anticipation, can significantly consume our thoughts, and even dreams and lucid daydreams. Often referred to as the “feel-good” neurotransmitter, dopamine is associated with pleasure, excitement, and the reward system in the brain. The anticipation of a rewarding experience, such as meeting for an arranged session at My play space, will lead to increased levels of dopamine.

For long distance or sporadic meetups, often the precursor to the event will involve a form of remote power play, your Domme may reward you with role playing over the phone, or via photo messaging. This kind of foreplay is a slow-burning build-up of sexual tension, and a sneak peek of the submission to come…

Cognitive Load: The Positive Rush and the Temporary Denial

Knowing all this as a submissive is interesting, but knowing this as Domme makes for excellent opportunities to tease and torment you further. When someone is deeply consumed by their desire for another person’s company or is eagerly anticipating a significant Dominant and Submissive session, it’s great fun to deliberately create challenging scenarios with the aim to ruin your concentration. For example, in long distance play sessions, perfectly timed my interruptions for your work commute, making you incapable of the most basic of rational decisions, and can inject some excitement into an otherwise boring day. When you hire a professional FemDom, remembering important information will temporarily be a struggle. They call it ‘mind fucking’, but really it’s monopolizing all your brain power, demanding a substantial portion of your focus. Your ability to process other, more boring stimuli or tasks will be overridden by thoughts of me.

Doesn’t that sound delicious?

Until next time,

Manchester Mistress Dominatrix BDSM Ashton Under Lyne Playspace Chambers Dungeon Fetish FemDom Kinky - 484
Manchester Mistress Expert Dominatrix Lola Ruin

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