Earlier this week I welcomed a new novice slave into My chambers for his very first session. Afterwards, he sent Me an incredibly insightful email about his thoughts and (with his permission) here is a small excerpt which I thought I would discuss in further detail…

I was also really surprised and impressed by the way you conducted yourself in and out of our session, the contrast in personalities was not something I had expected, and correct me if I'm wrong but it really goes to show how societal conventions have forced us as humans to adapt in a manner that sufficiently satisfy the expectations and demands associated with our given environment. If you don't mind me asking, when dommes such as yourself and Mistress Noir in this case, were laughing and mocking me during our session, was this a partially forced gesture for the sake of keeping to character, or did you really take genuine pleasure in seeing me act in that slavish manner, again within character?

Of course, I do get genuine pleasure from My sessions. I don’t accept sessions that don’t interest Me, and My services list is notably missing a few incredibly popular activities for the simple reason that I don’t enjoy and/or wish to engage in them with My submissives. It is important to Me that My work never feels like work, and I would rather lose out on sessions than accept anyone and everyone for the sake of My bank balance.

But there are other things at play in what My slave has said here too. There are a few reasons why My personality appears different during play time than outside of it…

It puts My new submissives at ease…

If I were to go into My consultations all guns blazing, I doubt My slaves would feel able to freely discuss their desires openly. Plus, not everyone is looking for the same thing. What My submissives desire from serving Me ranges. Some simply wish to relinquish control to Me for an hour of their day. Others are looking to be initiated into long-term D/s servitude, which takes time and training. I don't believe either are inhibited by informality outside of play time.

I don’t believe in giving anything away for free!

If you email, call, tweet Me, you can expect Me to be courteous, professional, even sweet to you. This is not because I am not Dominant, it’s because I am not stupid… those who contact Me wish to be Dominated, and often that includes being degraded, humiliated, talked down to. I am fully aware of this, and also aware that there are many unscrupulous slaves. These slaves have no intention of ever tributing, and contact Me with inane questions/requests simply to get a rise from Me. In which case, I (politely) say no.

Only after you have tributed can you expect to feel My wrath… 🙂

I do not lead a 24/7 lifestyle…

I am sure many of My subs like to think I roll out of My bed straight into a latex catsuit, bark orders at everyone I encounter and permanently have a whip attached to My hand. I am afraid that is not the case. Not only would that be exhausting, but also incredibly impractical… I doubt I would get very far in life at all if I went around treating everyone as My submissives.

…But I love to play professionally and personally!

I was a bossy child, and I have always been kinky. Most Dommes I know say the same. Now that I am older, I'm a fairly zen, laid back person. My play time, both professional and personal, gives Me the opportunity to tap into an aspect of My character which isn’t viable for Me to live out all day every day.

Perhaps there will be some people reading this who will take the above as a chance to call into question My integrity as a Domme. That what I have said means I am not really lifestyle, not a true Dominant, not genuine. But in reality, the above is also true for so many of My submissives. Outside of O/our play, they are generally alpha, business men with a-type personalities. They lead stressful lives which they exert huge amounts of control over. I don't question their submission as a result.

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