No matter what the motivation may be for entering the realm of kink, whether that means hoping to being an established long term D/s dynamic or simply wanting to experience some incredible Pro Dominatrices talents for yourself, it is vital that you research and approach them correctly. Picking the right Mistress for you is a process which shouldn’t be taken lightly if you want to have the best possible connection.
So, where to begin?
Step 1. Live Out Your Fantasy, Desire and Satisfaction takes Planning
Selecting a Professional Dominatrix involves numerous considerations, from her preferences and equipment to your own budget and desires. It’s crucial that the Mistress you visit has facilities and skills compatible with your fantasies if you want to get the most out of your experience.
But first, let’s get some less exciting logistics out of the way…
Step 2: The Best Mistresses Demand A Big Budget
I have regular submissives who are based 10 minutes from my playspace, and regulars who fly each time they see me, but of course the latter is not feasible for everyone.
Whilst I do not recommend ruling a Dominatrix out solely for budgetary or location reasons, especially someone who is ideal for you in every other way, it is important to consider and may help you narrow your search before you even begin. In my opinion, your PERFECT Dominatrix is worth saving up for and travelling to, but you need to make sure that is a commitment you can make before applying to serve.
Visit Manchester and immerse yourself in the world of sensual domination with the captivating and skilled Mistress Lola Ruin. Your journey into the realm of pleasure and submission awaits in the vibrant city of Manchester.
Experience the thrill of stress-relieving fun in Manchester as you submit to the captivating charm of Lola Ruin, the leading Mistress of Mistresses. From all corners of the world, slaves of diverse backgrounds find themselves devoted to her the moment they set eyes on her. In her custom-built Playspace in Tameside, she masterfully controls and engages in Power Exchange, fulfilling your deepest desires.
Lola Ruin is not just any Dominatrix; she is renowned for her expertise in sensual domination, earning her the title of the most desired Mistress in Manchester. With over 7 years of experience, Lola possesses both professional and lifestyle skills, making her a dominant force in the BDSM scene. She has a deep understanding of kink and acknowledges that for many submissives, their sessions with her are therapeutic and cathartic.
Unlike other harsh and cruel Mistresses, Lola Ruin takes a sensual approach to BDSM. She gently guides her submissives, whispering promises of reward or threats of penalty along the way. Her private Manchester dungeon Playspace is a luxurious haven filled with every kinky accessory imaginable. Here, your desires are not only explored but expanded under the guidance of this stunning Dominatrix.
Lola Ruin offers a range of specialist fetish services, including Ruined Orgasms, Foot Worship, Sensual Domination, and Slave Training. As a well-known filming Manchester Dominatrix, she even provides the option of capturing your session in Full HD, creating a lasting memento of your time with her.
Dungeon Room – Manchester Playspace Aligned Sexual Desires and Interests
Now, something a little more fun. Exactly what is it you hope to explore during your BDSM session? Do you have specific fetish itches you want scratched, such as latex or foot worship? Have you got a preference for a particular roleplay dynamic, for example a Headmistress scenario which would require a more domestic setting as opposed to a dungeon room? And crucially, what about the style of the Mistress… do you pine for someone cruel and unrelenting, or would you prefer a Mistress who is sensual and playful?
The scene is big and varied, and it’s likely you will not only find wonderful Dominatrixes who cater for your particular kinks and style of play, but that specialise in them.
Whilst most Professional Dominatrices have access to an arsenal of equipment, looking at your list of activities, bear in mind what facilities and skills your Mistress would need to have to make those fantasies a reality. If you’re a sissy, then you may want to consider someone with a large wardrobe of feminisation clothes in varying sizes. If you have a penchant for bondage, then consider if you need a Mistress with a vac-bed, suspension rig and/or shibari training. Are you looking for a longer session, such as an extended experience or overnight? Then you will need to approach a Mistress who is able to accommodate that.
Now, look back over your entire plan… your budget and location preferences, your kinks and interests, your preferred style and specialities, and any niche or special requirements. This is a good time to reflect on how much ‘flexibility’ you have for each of these desires, and consider whether is it absolutely imperative, or simply a preference you’d be happy to compromise on for the right Dominatrix.
For example, would you travel further for a Dominatrix who listed your favourite kink as a specialty? Will it make or break your session to experience something specialist like a latex vacbed, or would that just be a bonus? All of this will influence who you approach, and the more clear you are with yourself about your desires, the more likely it is you will find a Dominatrix to match them.
Step 3: Search Terms Online That Match Your Desires and Geographical Location
Now you have a rough idea of location and a better idea of what kind of Dominatrix you’d like to submit to, I advise beginning on Google and jumping straight in. The majority of visitors to my website find me directly by searching organically like this, so it’s a perfect place to start. Let’s say for example you have decided you want to serve a Dominatrix in my own City of Manchester. Here are some popular search terms you can try, simply swapping out my city for yours:
‘Mistress in Manchester’ or ‘Manchester Mistress’ Dominatrix in Manchester’ or ‘Dominatrix Manchester’ Domme in Manchester’ or ‘Manchester Domme’ ‘FemDom in Manchester’ or ‘Manchester ‘FemDom’
Or alternatively, you could search for your particular kinks if they are specific enough. For example; ‘Foot Worship Manchester’ or ‘Manchester Foot Worship’ or ‘Foot Worship In Manchester’ ‘Orgasm Control Manchester’ or ‘Manchester Orgasm Control’ or ‘Orgasm Control In Manchester’ ‘Edging Manchester’ or ‘FemDom Edging Manchester’
Or, if there is a particular activity or specialist equipment you are dying to try, you can search for that too;‘ Venus 2000 Manchester’ or ‘Venus 2000 Mistress Manchester’ ‘Chastity Manchester’ or ‘Manchester Chastity’ using related keywords similar to: Manchester, Dominatrix, Mistress, Lola Ruin, Sensual Domination, BDSM, Playspace, Submissive, Kink, Fetish, Ruined Orgasms, Foot Worship, Slave Training, Filmed Sessions, Stress-relieving fun, Power Exchange, Custom-built, Tameside, Expertise, Cathartic, Bespoke Domination, Private Dungeon, Luxury, Submissives, Pleasure, Submission,
Slight variations on your search terms will bring up different results, but generally near the top you will often find ‘Directories’. These are worth delving into, alongside any individual Mistress sites Google throws at you.
Up To Date Adult Directory Contact Information
Once upon a time between the fall of contact magazines and the rise of social media, this was how most submissives found their Domme. Despite falling a little out of favour in recent years as Mistresses have grown more search engine and social media savvy, they are still worth browsing. Often ordered by location, it’s a great overview of who is available in specific areas, and many will also list specialities and even contact details.
However, if you find a Mistress on a directory, then be sure that isn’t where your search ends. I strongly recommend doing much more research than simply stumbling across a photo directory and contacting immediately, if you want to have the best session possible. Many of these directories may be out of date, and none will give you the ‘full picture’ of what a particular Dominatrix can offer you. However, if location is paramount to you, then it’s often a good place to begin. Follow the links listed on these directories to go and read their own websites.
If you find that despite both searching organically on Google and looking through Dominatrix Directories, you still haven’t found your ideal Domme, then unfortunately you may need to search further afield than your chosen location. Consider nearby major cities which are easily accessible to you, as most have a thriving FemDom scene, even if it’s a little more far than you hoped for!
Step 4. Read About Services from a professional dominatrix, equipment, adult toys and custom made accessories
By now, you have probably discovered a few professional Mistress websites, which is the perfect place to research their individual ethos, equipment, and style. Whilst no doubt many of you perverts will jump straight to the gallery page, I recommend taking note of the other available pages and pouring over each one.
Specifically, there will likely be far more revealing information on certain pages. Using my own website as an example, I’d recommend the most important pages for potential submissives to spend time on are About, Fetishes, Sessions, Testimonials and Blog
About (alternatively named ‘Ethos’, ‘Philosophy’, ‘Approach’…) This page will give you a good introduction to Mistresses style and interests. As you read… does it speak to you? Do you feel like the two of you would click and have fantastic D/s chemistry? If you’re looking for a cruel, unrelenting Dominatrix, consider whether they have used those words, or similar (stern, foreboding, traditional). Likewise, if you’re hoping to meet a more sensual Mistress, look for words like ‘playful’, ‘seductive’, etc. This will generally give you a good idea of whether you would enjoy submitting to this particular Dominatrix.
Fetishes (alternatively named ‘Sessions’, ‘Services’, ‘Interests’, ‘Kinks’…) This page tends to be more focused in exactly what Mistress is comfortable and capable of offering. It’s generally a list, or in my case, is grouped into certain ‘categories’ which captures whole areas of interest/related kinks. Here, you want to make sure that the Dominatrix offers the fantasies you are hoping to fulfil. This page will also generally include ‘off limit’ activities, and it’s always worth scanning this to make sure you are not asking for something which isn’t provided. You may also find details of both equipment and specialities here.
Sessions (alternatively called ‘Rates’, ‘Tribute’…) Here is where you will find all the different possibilities in terms of BDSM sessions on offer, alongside their costs. Not all Mistresses publish their tributes, in which case you should contact them directly to ask what tribute they require in order to see you.
Testimonials (alternatively called ‘Reviews’…) If a Dominatrix self publishes testimonials from her submissives, then here is where you can start to get a real flavour of what it would be like to submit. Many of my subs said that they loved delving into the stories of my previous subs experiences. If you are a novice and feeling nervous about potentially submitting to a Dominatrix, you may well find it helps to allay any concerns about booking yourself, if you can see how others experiences have been.
Blog (alternatively called ‘News’, ‘Updates’…) Once again, this is another great page to a get a flavour for the personality of a Mistress. Whilst more traditional ‘advertising’ copy may be used on her ‘About’ page, here is a chance to see some more long form writing. I am always surprised by how many of my submissives say it was my blog, more so than any other page of my website, which made them know I was the right Mistress for them.
Whilst I believe these tend to be the most informative and revealing pages of a Professional Mistress website, ideally you should spend time going through each and every page, especially if you are thinking of submitting a formal application to serve. Try to glean as much information as possible about your potential Dominatrix before you apply, so as to make the best first impression possible (more on that in a future blog post…). However, browsing through the pages I have listed will give you a really good idea of whether this is the right Professional Dominatrix for you.
Over the years I have spent time helping men understand what’s available, I document personal events and write articles, find more here:
Vanilla Corruption Party with Mistress Tess
Extended Experiences Blog
Personal Slave Experience
My Love of Ruined Orgasm
Personal Playspace Fantasies
London Tour 2017 Highlights
The Perils of Dating as a Dominatrix
Foot Worship 101 Techniques
Taking a Break from Domination
Back to Sessions for Submissives
Questions & Answers with Mistress
Bali and Birthday Celebrations
Holiday Updates & Adventures
Film Slaves Behind the Scenes
My Submissive Experience Revealed
Double Domme Summer Sessions with Mistress Foxx
24-Hour Servitude Challenge
Holiday Fun in Mistress’s World
Happy New Year Greetings from Domina
A Special Opportunity for Submissives
London Sessions in December
Control and Paying for the Illusion of It
My Love of Latex & Fetish Fashion
Ask Me Anything About BDSM
Make Me Happy with Your Submission
Behind the Scenes of Domination
Celebrating an Anniversary of Kink
Venus-2000: Ultimate Pleasure Device
Back to Filming BDSM Sessions
Reality vs. Fantasy in Domination
What Do You Do for a Living? Submissive Insights
Availability for Slave Selection
The Idiot’s Guide to Worshipping Pussy
The Healing Benefits of BDSM
Ruin Filmed by Duke: A Submissive Experience
Locked Up for Lola Ruin – Part 3
Locked Up for Lola Ruin – Part 2
Locked Up for Lola Ruin – Part 1
Diary of a Chastity Slave Revealed
In Defence of Porn: A Domme’s Perspective
Locked Up for Lola Ruin – Part 4
Manchester Dungeon Mistress Playspace
Tameside Sex Dungeon Dominatrix Playspace Manchester
How Much Does It Cost to Make High-Quality Dominatrix Porn?
Dominatrix Filming in Manchester: British Mistress Online
Orgasm Control & Edging Tips from a Dominatrix
Becoming My Personal Bitch
Manchester Mistress Domme Vulnerability
Manchester Mistress BDSM Domme Adventures
UK Professional Dominatrix Tips for Submissive Slaves
Once you have spent a good while pursuing a Dommes website, take a look to see if there are links to social media profiles listed. If you find them, then we can move onto the next step…
Step 5. Manchester Social Media Prescence – Submissive Slaves Research Their Perfect Domme
Whilst BDSM sessions can make for a wonderful experience for a submissive, it’s vital that you approach only those who seem to be both professional and serious practitioners. Of course it can be exciting gallery hopping and looking at pretty Dominant ladies… but without fully researching them, it is difficult to gage personality, skill, and experience level from sexy photos alone.
So, after Google, Directories and Websites, where should you look next? I recommend then researching even more by clicking on any social media icons or links listed on a Dominatrix website (for example, you can find icons to my own social media profiles in the top right corner on desktop, and in the footer of each page on mobile)
Twitter
In particular you should look out for a link to Twitter or a ‘bird’ icon. Twitter is by far the most friendly and popular social media platform for Mistresses, due to it being one of the only one that allows explicit/adult material. Whilst Instagram is also popular, it remains more hostile and Mistresses will often lose their accounts unknowingly, so don’t be disheartened should you stumble across a broken link.
Whilst many Mistresses do not allow messaging or DM function on their social media profiles, viewing or following their accounts will give you a glimpse into both their lives and persona. They’ll likely have not only more photos in general than on their website, but more recent photos too. Take some time to browse their profile, and see if you believe you’d have chemistry. Social media is the perfect place for Professional Mistresses to demonstrate their skills, experience and professionalism, as well as their personality and style. It’s (usually) a window to something a little more relatable and dynamic than a website alone.
A Note On Catfish Accounts
Unfortunately, all social media platforms have become rife with fake accounts posing as Professional Dominatrixes. They will often use stolen photos of established Mistresses, and they post incredibly convincingly. Beware of these fraudulent accounts. They are simply trying to extort money from you when you’re in a moment of horniness by using the names and likeness of established practitioners.
Should you find a Mistress on a social media website, be sure to click through their listed links until you find their website, and verify that the website does indeed lead to the same social media profile. Be cautious if they don’t have a website, or a wider presence across the internet. Take note of the username… is it a unique name, or is it anonymised such as ‘Mist012345’? Be extra cautious and make sure you research every Dominatrix you are considering sending money to.
So, let’s say you have spent some time pouring over a website and then their social media profile, and they seem perfect for you and who you would love to approach. What do I recommend you do next?
Step 6. Online Dominatrix Videos, Order Personalised Videos, Record our Playspace Sessions Together
By now, you should have noticed a pattern. My key piece of advice when you are looking for a Professional Dominatrix to serve, is to DO YOUR RESEARCH. That means putting time, and in this final step maybe even money, towards your search for your perfect Mistress.
My final piece of advice and truthfully my top tip for researching your chosen Mistress is, before you even think about applying, take some time to see if this particular Mistress has either clipstores like Clips4sale or IWantClips, or a fansite like OnlyFans or LoyalFans. They may even post short, free previews to PornHub.
A Small Investment – View and Order Fantasy Play Clips
An hour session with me costs almost 20 times what the majority of my clips cost to purchase, or what it costs for an entire month subscription on my LoyalFans. Pretty much any Mistress who films will have a similar price discrepancy between their in person fantasy play and their content. If you are seriously considering serving a particular Mistress, and paying the large tribute required to do some, a $10 clip to really gage their style is a tiny investment in your own pleasure.
I highly recommend browsing their back catalogues, picking a clip that speaks to your fetishes, and buying it. Even if you don’t usually enjoy watching clips for fun, this will be a good indication of their style of play, which no amount of website copy or social media posts can convey. If they specialise in your personal kinks, then you should have ample content to choose from.
Either you will find that this particular Domme doesn’t gel with your fantasies as well as you thought they may have, and you will have saved yourself 20 times the cost of a session, or they really are as perfect as all your previous research led you to believe (and the clip will get you excited for your upcoming meet!)
A Final Note
It is vital that you take your time to find someone compatible with you, if you want to have the best session possible, regardless of whether you believe this will be a one-off session, or the start of a long-term D/s dynamic. The more information you have researched about a Mistress the more likely it is you know they will be a good chemistry match for you, that they specialise in exactly what you are hoping to explore, and that they have the right skills and experience to honour that for you. By the same logic, the less time you spend researching, the more likely you will submit to a Dominatrix who is incompatible with your desires and the more likely you are to make a bad first impression.
Well... things have changed pretty drastically since my last blog to you all haven't they? I very much hope you and your loved ones are keeping happy, healthy and safe in amongst this craziness.
I closed my playspace doors back in Mid-March, prior to the official lockdown... and as yet, it pains me to say I have no plans to re-open them.
Truthfully, I would be quite shocked if I will be back to sessions before 2021. Even when my doors do open again, I may begin with only a select few submissives... my regulars, those who had cancelled sessions, and those who have already paid deposits. For those of you who were quietly gathering up the courage to finally take the plunge and serve me, but had yet to contact me to arrange, sadly it seems you will be waiting quite a long time...
So, what is a poor depraved and deprived pervert like you supposed to do?
OBVIOUSLY you should be subscribing to my OnlyFans, AVN stars and binge purchasing my videos, of course! 😉
Lockdown Filming - Buy Personalised Videos by Request
In all seriousness... Lockdown has finally given me some dedicated time to really dive into video production. I first began filming videos seriously in my 2nd year of being a Dominatrix, so I've certainly had plenty of practice. But as a predominantly sessioning Dominatrix, I simply haven't had the time to dedicate to researching more and more about filming. Until now.
How would you personalise your video? Remember, the recording is for you to own. What would you like to include? Discover all the details by completing my Application to Serve today 😉
4K Upgrade from HD - Glorious Delicious Details - Clarity in Full Colour
I've spent the last 6 months investing in swaths of new equipment... an entire new set of lighting, a brand new microphone, incredible lenses, backdrops, props, and I'll soon be upgrading my camera from Full HD to glorious 4k. My bank balance might hate me... but my clip connoisseurs are loving me. And of course they are. Along with new equipment, I've also been investing most of my time in gaining new knowledge and expertise... And I am so pleased with the results!
I have always prided myself on creating high quality content, but finally having some time to experiment, to trial and error, to play, to learn new editing techniques... it has certainly been a silver lining of lockdown. This last 6 months has also allowed me to freedom to finally explore some artistry with my clips. To feel as though I am creating something special for you subs to purchase. I have been getting some wonderful feedback from my fans, and this makes all the work seem more than worthwhile.
As mentioned, I have no plans to begin sessions again any time soon. So, right now, custom videos are the only way to get your kink fix from me. Personally, I LOVE creating custom videos for my submissives... to hear your ideas and suggestions, take them and run wild with my imagination, putting my own kinky twist on it and turning it into a magical piece of film you will cherish (and jerk off to) forever...
What would you like me to film? Imagine your Mistress being available whenever you access your video file. What do you fancy? Let's Begin: Complete your Application to Serve now.
Seeing as we are on the subject of filming, I am also going to take a moment to really encourage anyone reading this that... even if you don't want to buy the content I produce, I really hope that you do *buy your porn*. I know it's easy to hop onto a tube website, quickly jerk off and never think about it again. But the content you consume for free... someone paid to make it. Someone spent years honing their skills in production, invested £1000's in equipment, and gave their time and energy to create that for you to watch. And right now, many sex workers are facing a real unknown.
Many content producers have seen their incomes decimated as a result of COVID, and sex workers in general struggle to access government help (for obvious reasons). If you have never bought porn before, right now is the BEST time to start. Especially with the advent of subscription websites, you can get an incredible amount of content for a great price.
Not only will you feel warm and fuzzy that you are supporting sex workers whose content you love, but the orgasms feel better... I promise 😉
Today I want to write you all a blog about what exactly goes into creating FemDom Porn... and why you should be paying for it.
PornHub and its Legacy
Quite a few of you have probably noticed PornHub hitting the headlines again recently, after an expose into abusive and non-consensual content in The New York Times. This article quickly lead to Visa/Mastercard pulling their payment processing. In response, Pornhub did a sweeping reform of their website. Now, only verified accounts are allowed to upload content (really good!), but as yet Visa and Mastercard have yet to reinstate payment processing (really bad, especially for performers who rely on this income, during a winter pandemic, 2 weeks before Christmas...)
FemDom Porn on YouTube and Pornhub
Pornhub has a long and torrid history when it comes to sex workers. If you want to learn more, I highly recommend Jon Ronsons Audible series 'The Butterfly Effect'. But, a quick rundown was the spark of an idea to create 'YouTube for Porn', way back in 2007. They allowed anyone to upload content, with no verification of who the uploaders were or where that content came from. Soon enough, they were quickly averaging 1 million hits a month, and the content was being uploaded far faster than DMCA notices from the owners of that content could take it down. Copycat websites popped up all over, and porn became readily and freely available for everyone with an internet connection. These days, PornHub is estimated to be the 10th most visited website in the world (shooting up to 9th during lockdown). It has trillions of monthly visits, with more hits than Amazon, Netflix or Reddit.
Tube sites like PornHub fundamentally changed the way our industry works. Many porn studios closed, as a pleathora of free content made it much more difficult for performers and producers to earn a living (especially true for 'vanilla' porn as opposed to more niche 'FemDom Porn'). But, these sites changed the way most people even think about porn. The vast majority of porn consumers will never pay for it, crying... 'Why should I pay when I can get it for free?'
Of course, therein lies the problem... most porn ISNT free. Most porn, unless a verified model uploaded it, is stolen. And this Tube site model directly takes money out of the hands of sex workers... an already disempowered, marginalised and criminalised group of people.
In today's blog I am hoping I can convince you to pay for your content, by allowing you a peek behind what goes into it's production. This is especially pertinent right now during a pandemic. Porn use has skyrocketed during lockdowns, whilst sex workers have been left scrambling for new income revenues. If ever there was a time to start paying for your porn, it is now.
The Cost of 'Free' FemDom, The Equipment Required to Record Dominatrix Porn
Whilst you can easily find porn that is free to watch, porn is far from free to actually create. Even more than that, I suspect that most people vastly underestimate just how much money it takes to create quality content.
Take the following screengrab of a recent clip as an example. Looking at this clip, it isn't all that fancy. It's just a simple POV with a simple, skimpy outfit and a single prop. This clip is around 10 minutes long, and I would sell it for $10.99. Take a moment to really just look at this image before reading ahead. Take a wild guess at how much money you think it cost for all the equipment to produce this.
Just how much does FemDom porn cost to produce?
Cost Calculation of Superior Quality Dominatrix Porn Audio and Visual Equipment
I posed this same question on twitter, and guesses ranged from £200 to £3000. Most people seemed to settle around £1000-£2000 range. But, not a single person actually managed to guess the correct amount. So, let me break it down into cold, hard figures...
Video: My DSLR Camera, with a specialist lens, a good tripod, stills remote and SD card : £1250
Lighting: A 4 point lighting set up, with assorted stands and light modifiers : £1500
Audio: My microphone, boomstand and extension lead to record off camera : £400
Setting: A plain background, backdrop stands, chasie and props : £350
Model: My outfit/hair/makeup (including the Louboutin shoes you can't actually see in this shot) : £800
Editing: A specialist creators laptop, which I use ONLY for editing, and software : £2200
Total Cost of Recording Equipment and Time Creating FemDom Porn = £6500
How close was your guess? If you guessed less (which I am almost certain you did), by how much did you underestimate it? Does knowing the true cost make you question the idea of 'free' pornography?
Bear in mind, this is only for the equipment I used for this specific clip. I actually have lots more equipment I swap out for different clips. More backdrops, more lighting and modifiers, different lenses, MUCH more expensive outfits/BDSM toys/props and so on. The total above doesn't include any of that extra equipment I also use regularly. Of course, I use all this equipment over and over again. It's not a one off cost, but an investment into a wider business of content creation. It certainly doesn't cost me this much money every time I make a clip (I would be out of business FAST if that were the case!). But, the point I want to make is, when £6500 worth of equipment goes into making a clip... surely the purchase price of $10.99 seems more than reasonable, right?
FemDom Porn not only takes extensive equipment, but also time and expertise
Making FemDom pornography is not only an expensive business, but a time consuming one. And of course, that £6500 figure above doesn't include my time or my expertise. Creating content is a full time job, which many of us do on top of other forms of sex work. Most of us also do real time, phone and webcam sessions, as well as create content. Not only is it a full time job, but we actually do the job of what many different people would do on a 'traditional' film set. So, let me also break down my time...
You're not just paying for my time, you're paying for a decade of experience too
For this clip, I only spent 10 minutes in front of the camera. But before I filmed this clip, I spent time really planning it out. Coming up with the idea/concept, and writing out a rough (or detailed) script. Deciding how I want to set it up, light it, and shoot it. Picking and polishing my outfit and props. And of course, a couple of hours to perfect my make up and hair (sorry to burst your bubble, I did not wake up like this!)
Once I've finished actually filming, then I'll move onto editing. This can sometimes be fairly quick and straightforward. Occasionally, it might include long tangents on Google and/or YouTube, learning new editing techniques to hone the vision I have for it. I may also spend some time searching through stock footage/music to include (which I will also pay a fee to use). Then, more hours spent writing descriptions, creating previews and video GIFs, and uploading them all to the various clip websites in the correct categories and keywords to make sure you can find them.
I couldn't estimate the sheer amount of time (or actual money) I have spent on different editing, lighting and photography courses learning exactly how to do all of this. Add to that, I have close to a decade of personal and professional play experience. All of which get's distilled into that little 10 minute monologue in my clip. Suffice to say, I have sunk hours upon hours upon hours finetuning my craft. I pour my heart into creating content which I love, and that I sincerely hope you will love too.
And once all that knowledge, money, expertise and creativity is crafted into a clip, uploaded and sold online? Well, then I will also spend hours upon hours trawling Tube sites and shitty forums, finding the pirated copies of it (if I find them at all), and then writing and submitting DMCA takedown notices to those websites, which they may or may not ever take notice of, and which even IF it gets taken down, will likely get uploaded again a few days later...
...Are you tearing your hair out on my behalf yet?
The takeaway from this is... Porn is a luxury, to produce AND to buy. But if you ask me, you are getting a shit-hot deal even when you do buy it, considering all that we pour into making it. The only reason you think you don't is because you have bought into a culture of 'porn is, and should, be free'. Which again... is not and has never been true.
Have another £6500 shot, might as well make the most of it!
'Most FemDom Porn Performers Are Loaded, They Dont Need Me To Pay!'
Here, I want to let you into a real secret... MOST sex workers are not FemDoms answer to Jeff Bezos. Of course, some make great money, but some make very little. Most of us fall somewhere on the spectrum in between. However... pretty much ALL of us market ourselves in an expensive, polished and glamourous way. This is especially true of Dominatrices, and FinDoms in particular.
Sex work is Class Drag. Most of us brand ourselves just as carefully as we produce our content. We present a honed aesthetic which is not a reflection of our true selves, but a creation we have made specifically to titillate you. We are walking fantasies, and we project our most polished versions. Those screenshots you see of us dripping in jewellery surrounded by mounds of cash? They are a reflection of our branding and marketing, and whilst they can contain some truth, they are also creations we have made for the sole purpose of your viewing pleasure.
In the same way most of my twitter followers guessed that above clip cost a lot less to produce than it actually did, I'd be willing to bet most of them would also guess my yearly wage is considerably higher than it is. So, when you make the assumption we are all loaded, that is based on carefully curated images we create of us looking polished as fuck, you are confusing reality with the 'fantasy' of our branding.
Make no mistake, that many sex workers, especially during this pandemic, are struggling to get by. But of course, not many of us are going to reveal personal struggles publicly.
I'd like to share one of my own experiences to illustrate this point. Years ago, I took a break from work in order to look after my mental health after a difficult couple of years. As I couldn't accept sessions or film, I took out a credit card to support myself. At this same time this happened, I found a bunch of my pirated content. The combined views totalled close to $500,000 worth of revenue. I truly cannot describe how sad I felt, to run into debt just to survive as SO MANY people enjoyed my content, but refused to actually compensate me for that labour. Just think if 1% of those people had bought that clip instead. I could have comfortably looked after myself in my time of need.
(Side note: Those of you who bought my content during that time? THANK YOU. You have no idea how much I appreciated it)
Many sex workers are in that same, barely surviving position right now. That is a direct result of the culture of free porn, which simultaneously consumes their content, and yet refuses to support them.
The Rise of the FanClubs
Finally, I want to say that with the rise of fanclubs such as OnlyFans and AVNStars, I don't believe there is any excuse not to pay for porn anymore (if there ever was one). You can get a monthly subscription to your favourite models even more easily and cheaply than before. The amount of content available on most FanClubs is incredible. Plus, you know that you are directly supporting that model you love. It's a win-win situation!
Just as lots of us are becoming more conscious about all of our purchases, I'm going to encourage you to apply those same ethics to the pornography you consume. Recognise that lots of time, money and expertise went into creating that for you. Behind every clip you watch, that there are people relying on your purchase of it to survive.
Just like we pay our monthly subscriptions to Spotify, Netflix, Amazon Prime... why should our pornography be any different? Especially when it's arguable that sex workers need our collective support more than massive corporations. Right now, creating content is the only safe way for sex workers to keep a roof over our heads until we are the other side of COVID. Our careers are deeply stigmatised during the best of times, and the pandemic has only made our lives harder. Actually buying our content is not only fair, but the moral and ethical thing to do.
In a world that routinely fucks us over, you can actively choose instead to support us. Buy our clips, sign up to our fanclubs. Tweet your praise, and encourage others to do the same. Request your own Custom Clip (seriously, custom clips are so special, and are a great way to support your favourite producers). And, if you see any of our pirated content, let us know so we can have it removed.
One last shot, as a reward for reading so far!
Now... let's say you've made it all the way to the end of my blog. And... you still don't want to pay for your porn. If thats the case, I'd like to invite you to reflect on the following questions... Why do you feel entitled to the free sexual labour of strangers? Why do you expect a marginalised group of people, who have been some of the hardest hit by 2020, to not be compensated for the work they lovingly created that you enjoyed? And, is a person who values their momentary physical pleasure over the ability of a criminalised group of people to survive, really the kind of person you want to be?
Seriously, pay for your fucking porn. I promise you, ethical orgasms feel even better 😉
I know I have spent years telling some of you miscreants to look out for this blog post, and now the time has finally come...
I am looking to recruit at least one personal bitch (possibly more depending on the calibre of replies I get) to assist with the day to day running of My increasingly hectic lifestyle.
Putting My feet up whilst YOU slave away for Me...
For those of you who admire Me from afar but do not have the monetary funds to book a session, this is a rare and unique opportunity to build a D/s connection with Me in return for being useful to Me.
YOUR DUTIES AS MY BITCH:
Cleaning. This one is obvious. This will be in My home and possibly dungeon, and will include hoovering, mopping, washing dishes, laundry, polishing, scrubbing and so on. Chauffeuring You must hold a license, own a car and be a good driver. Ad-Hoc Chores This could include tasks such as administration, promotion, cooking, foot massage, running errands, gardening or DIY tasks.
(Ideally you would be able to perform all these duties, however applications to just serve Me as a cleaning maid or driver are also welcome.)
SUBMISSIVE STIPULATIONS:
References It is of paramount important you are able to provide references for Mistresses (either Pro-Domme or lifestyle) you have previously served, whether that be in a professional or personal arrangement. Discretion This position which will involve being in My home. No turning up outside My front door in full maids attire and scaring My neighbours! Animal Friendly/Non-Allergic I have a lovely, friendly (if occasionally yappy!) little dog whom may from time to time need sitting/driving around with Me as part of your duties. Regularly Available I am looking for a bitch who can dedicate at the very least weekly time to serving Me. If you can be flexible and available at short notice that is also a huge bonus.
The position of being My personal bitch does not require a tribute, and as a result you are also not guaranteed any 'play'. However, if I feel so inclined you may get some... I do like to reward My bitches good behaviour!
To apply, email mistress@lolaruin.com and include details of duties you would perform/excel at, references and their contact information, availability, whereabouts you are based and any further information you think is appropriate (For clarity, dick pics are never appropriate...)
