My Top Tips For New Dommes

My Top Tips For New Dommes...

By MistressLolaRuin November 26th, 2021

Among the many changes brought about by recent events, the sudden explosion of new workers entering the world of sex work has been one of the most noticeable. Largely due to the vast number of people who needed a way to make money from their own homes turning to OnlyFans, this expansion has spread out to other areas of sex work.

The world of Domination calls to many, and those of Us who are established in our field will often be inundated with requests for advice on the industry - how to enter it, where to start, and how to be successful. As someone who was once a young beginner, it is now important to Me that I offer the same generosity of spirit that was afforded to Me. Without the guidance of established and wiser Dommes teaching me the ropes, I would not be where I am today. There is a lot to learn for new Dommes, but my top 5 tips for those of you who are brand new to the industry would be as follows;

Choose A Unique Name

First, you need to choose a name. Your Domina name should reflect the essence of the domination you will offer to the world. It should also be unique. Not only so that you stand out and are easily identifiable for the submissives who wish to serve you, but also because choosing a name already belonging to an established Domina is considered extremely poor form in the world of BDSM. There is no need to copy someone more successful than you, and if you try, all that means is that you will struggle to compete online against the very Domme you have copied. After all, she's already there and has her territory is carved out. Better that you choose a name that is entirely your own so that you can forge your own unique brand. This will not only help submissives to recognise you, but will help when it comes to online marketing and search engine optimisation.

I say this as someone who made this very mistake... Lola is common name amongst sex workers, and I wish I had chosen something more original. However, I've worked long and hard and I've made it work for me (with the help of a second name Ruin). Anyone who chooses either the name Lola or Ruin now is going to face an uphill struggle against me and the internet presence I have been slowly building for a decade.

Choose a first and a last name, something which reflects you and your style of Domination, and do some research to make sure no one else is using it! The last thing you want to do is cause friction with other Dommes and create a lot more work for yourself as you try to compete down the line.

Research Kinks

Second, research. There are as many flavours of kink as there are kinky people. You will need to have a strong grounding in a wide variety of kinks and fetishes to begin with. Consider the variety of fetishes there are: ABDL to sounding to whipping to tie and tease. Also consider how each of these may fit better with different archetypes of Domination: Stern Mommy, Teasing Goddess, Evil Nurse, Cruel Dominatrix. Once you are familiar with them, then you can then begin to identify which ones you can cater to, how to do so safely, and which ones you won't be able to offer, either because they don't fit in with your archetype or because you do not have the safety training or equipment.

Even if you are only planning to produce online content, a convincing and skillful video requires a thorough knowledge of the fetish or act being described or portrayed. Producing a 'latex fetish' clip when you are actually wearing PVC will not win you any fans in either the Domination or submissive community. Submissives care deeply about their fetishes, and it is important you portray them accurately.

Read as many blogs and books as you can, attend workshops, pay for content or sessions to educate yourself. Some Dommes may even be happy to mentor you or allow you to shadow them, however you should consider they may well charge for their time. Try to soak up as much information as possible, and don't offer anything you don't yet know how to do safely. Later on you can hone down into your specialities, but to begin with I recommend just being a sponge for knowledge.

Have Clear Boundaries And Stick To Them

Fourth, and it is important you think about this one carefully, boundaries. Your boundaries as a Domme will not spring out fully formed like Athena from the head of Zeus, you need to consider them in detail after the research you did in step two. What are you comfortable doing, what services are you comfortable providing, what avenues of communication are you going to offer submissives? Your boundaries will, over time and with experience, naturally shift and evolve. That's normal, and a regular check in with yourself every so often will help you to keep track of how your internal world is adapting. It is vital however that you remember that the only person who can shift or alter these boundaries is you. Not a submissive or their wallet.

No matter what your boundaries are, there will be submissives who will try to push them. They will ask to sleep with you, they will beg you to offer fetishes you don't, they will contact you at ungodly hours and pour out their hearts and souls as though you are the only person in the world who could help them (apparently therapists don't exist). Be prepared for how you will respond when they do.

And then there will be some who will do all of the above but with an attachment of very tempting cash. You will have to decide what you are comfortable with, but trust me when I say that no amount of money is worth you feeling like you have betrayed yourself. Every single time I've flexed on my boundaries, I've regretted it, mostly because submissives who do not respect your boundaries are not good submissives. Your time, energy and well being is precious and you should protect it, even when a cash injection looks tempting.

Diversify Your Income

Third, diversify how you make your money. While everyone has strengths and preferences, a Domme who only produces content for one specific niche on one specific platform will quickly run into trouble when the payment processors ban that fetish, or the platform is shut down. As we saw when Onlyfans banned explicit adult content, there is no guarantee that a platform will be available to you forever. And as we saw during the pandemic, even relying solely on sessions is not a good idea (although I very much hope another pandemic is not on the horizon!)

If working online, make sure your work across a range of different platforms so that your brand can reach a wider audience and you have options in case a pesky credit card decides to refuse to work with a particular website. And if you work solely offline, consider opening a fan club just to supplement your session income. Being able to turn a side hustle into a main hustle is much easier than suddenly having to learn a brand new way of working under financial pressure. No one wants to be stuck with no income at short notice.

A quick side note about New Girl Money... when you first come onto the scene, you may find yourself inundated and making more money than ever before. Do not rely on this to last forever, because quite often that initial rush will dry up and then it can take years to really hone your hustle. I know it can be tempting to blow all that new cash on a bunch of Louboutins, but do not be frivolous. Until you are more established and the flow of sessions is more predictable, it pays to be frugal and just keep reinvesting in your business. New Girl Money can end abruptly, so plan ahead for those rainy days!

Schedule Both Work And Down Time

Fifth, scheduling. It is a truth universally acknowledged among all self employed people that it is dangerously easy to work non-stop. Id say this is especially true for Dominatrixes, as our work tends not just to be our work, but also our lifestyles. There's always more work to be done, you will find your to do list only ever gets bigger, and that can easily lead to finding yourself working into the early hours after everyone else has gone to bed. The work that we do is intensive and can take a lot of energy, and once burn out has gotten it's claws into you, it can become the most difficult job in the world. Self care is paramount to avoid that, so schedule in your working hours and stick to them. Schedule in full days off, and make them non-negotiable. No submissive and no amount of money is worth your well being, and when you have a schedule, your submissives will learn to work around you.

I know this can be difficult, especially when you see established Dommes doing everything all the time making it look easy. But here is a secret... many established Dommes have hired help. I personally have 3 different people I pay to help me run my business, and once you are making enough money I strongly recommend you do the same. Until then, do what you can and focus on building your brand, and do not compare yourself to those who are 5, 10 or 20 years down the line. You'll get there eventually, as long as you balance your hard work with scheduled self care.

Good Luck!

I very much hope that any new Dommes reading this feel both informed and inspired going forward. Remember that this work allows for all different styles of Domination and all different ways of working, and it'll take a while to find your groove. Until then, stay sharp and have fun exploring and experimenting as you build your own Fempire 🙂

Until next time,

Manchester Mistress Dominatrix BDSM Ashton Under Lyne Playspace Chambers Dungeon Fetish FemDom Kinky - 484
Manchester Mistress Expert Dominatrix Lola Ruin

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UK Dominatrix Tips: How A Professional Domme Commands Her Submissive Slaves. A Guide in Kink Domination via Webcam and Virtual Commands to Obey

UK Dominatrix Tips: How A Professional Domme Commands Her Submissive Slaves. A Guide in Kink Domination via Webcam and Virtual Commands to Obey

By MistressLolaRuin | June 1, 2021

COVID has forced most of our kinky lives online, and with that many of us are scratching our naughty itch virtually, even if we have never done so before (personally it has been years since I offered webcam domination in any kind of consistent way). For many of you, this may be a brand new way to play and serve, and whilst new things can be exciting, they can also be daunting.

So… how can you improve your virtual experiences? What can you do as a submissive to make Distance Domination even more thrilling and fulfilling?

UK Professional Dominatrix - Femdom Distance Domination via Webcam

BOOK A WEBCAM SESSION WITH ME HERE

Here are my Top 10 Tips for how you can improve your experience…

Femme Doms and Dominatrix: How To Choose The Right Dominant in Manchester and UK Nationwide

You will know from my website that I'm based in Manchester and pre-Covid was very active in London for weekend bookings, overnight escort dates and Extended Experiences locally in Thameside, Manchester and UK Nationwide when restrictions are lifted. Choose your Dominant carefully. I'm saying this as a word of precaution: I have seen a huge rise in the number of catfishers using Dominants photos to scam money for things like webcam sessions from unsuspecting submissives who have not done their research. If you see a Dominant you like on Instagram or Twitter, you should immediately Google their website. See if it looks legit, and check it actually links to the same profile you found. If they don’t have a website, that should raise some flags.

Also, search for their name online and see what you can find… other social profiles, clip stores, reviews, interviews. Most genuine Dommes have all of the above and more, usually with intricate levels of detail of how they most enjoy playing with their submissives and how you can apply to serve them. This should help you to know… firstly, is this Domme genuine, and secondly, do their interests align with your own?

Dominatrix Webcam Bookings Online - Choosing The Perfect Platform for your Submissive Slavery Sessions

Adultwork and Niteflirt are just two well know platforms which Dommes can offer webcam domination through, and if you’re not sure where to begin your search for a Dominatrix, I would suggest starting there. However… these sites do take a cut, so if you have already chosen a Domme independently of these websites, contact them directly and ask what is their preferred platform and payment processing for webcam sessions (if that isn't already listed on their website).

As with all submission, you should always be striving to make your Dominants life better… and whilst some Dommes may like the ease of using these platforms, others will prefer you book webcam domination directly and cut out the middle man. Again... make sure this is a genuine Dominant before you send money directly by doing your research. If in doubt, hold out and wait until you find someone who looks more trustworthy.

BOOK A WEBCAM SESSION WITH ME HERE

Slaves Sit Up: A Domme Will Demand You Talk - Ruined Orgasm to Roleplay

Speak up! Verbally (or by email) describe your likes and no go areas clearly and succinctly. Articulate in the best way possible to your Dominatrix, She will learn quickly how best to thrill, or to delay your ultimate pleasure.

Tips for communicating your submissive desires with your domination of choice: A few sentences along the lines of ‘I want a therapist roleplay where we begin more vanilla but you become crueller as the session goes on, eventually culminating in a ruined orgasm. I also enjoy edging and nipple play, for example.

I do not like CBT or anal play’ is perfectly fine, and this is plenty for most Dommes to run with!

Striking the balance between being too vague or too prescriptive will serve you well whenever you are approaching a Dominant, whether thats for virtual domination or any other kind of play.

Articulating Effectively in Virtual Domination Webcam Sessions

Contrary to popular opinion, ‘anything you want Mistress’ is generally hard work for most Dommes. We are not mind-readers, and it is even more difficult for us to read body language when we offer virtual sessions. So, make sure you articulate your likes clearly when you apply for your webcam session.

Equally, being too specific can really sap the fun out of it for the Dominant, and lead to a lack lustre webcam session where we spend more time trying to remember your endless list of likes than allowing the play to unfold organically. I have had submissives email me incredibly long scripts for play before, and the more you include the more likely it is I won’t know which parts are the most important or thrilling for you.

Webcam Domination and Submissive Communication - A Dominatrix Mistress Demands Respect From Her Slaves

Before you apply to a Dominatrix, take a moment to really collect your thoughts, and jot down any and all questions you may have regarding distance domination, rather than later bombarding with countless emails each with a single, different question. Of course, you should also be reading their website meticulously to see if your question is already answered there, try my Manchester Mistress - About Me page for a good start.

BOOK A WEBCAM SESSION WITH ME HERE

Pay to Play the Professional in a Respectful Way - Less is More

I generally find that the fewer emails I exchange with a submissive before a webcam session, the more likely I am going to enjoy their company as they obviously respect both me and my time. And under no circumstances should you be sending suggestive or sexy messages unless you have consent and are tipping to do so. Professional Dominants are just that… professionals. You should always treat them as such, and leave the more saucy stuff to when you are actually in a virtual session unless you have agreed to pay more for email play.

Distance Domination Webcam Online Virtual Domme Sessions - Preparation and Remove distractions

If you live with others, schedule the call at a time when they wont be home (hard in lockdown of course!), or at least when they won’t be likely to disturb you. Put your phone on silent and out of the way. Close down all other programs on your laptop. Turn off the TV or any other electronics you won't be using. Some light background music is acceptable, but the speakers should be as far away from your laptop microphone as possible, and the music should be whisper quiet.

I would also suggest having a set of headphones to hand in case you find you get feedback once your session begins... nothing will break the mood more than some deafening echo bouncing between you and your Domme as you scramble to find some earphones! Make sure that your space is as peaceful as possible, so you can focus totally on serving your Dominant.

Remote Dominatrix Webcam Sessions - Test your laptop

Run some internet tests to check that everything is working smoothly, because if there’s one thing that will break your submissive headspace, it’s finding out 2 minutes before your webcam session is due to start that your laptop won’t connect. Do this a few hours prior to your session, and again within the 15 minutes just before. Make sure all your software and drivers are up to date, and most importantly that your laptop is plugged in. Your computer battery dying 10 minutes into your session will ruin it, and not in the fun way 😉

Submissive Tips from a Professional Domme - Prepare your space

Imagine that your Dominant isn’t just appearing on your computer screen, but is actually coming into your room. Would you invite them over with dirty underwear strewn across the floor and used cups all over the sideboards? Of course not, and you should treat webcam domination exactly the same.

Clean away all the clutter, make sure your space looks immaculate, and maybe even put on some mood lighting and candles… make the space as inviting as you would if a Dominant were really in your home. If you have toys you wish to play with during the session, have them laid out neatly, clean, and within arms reach. A tidy space equals a tidy mind, and will allow you to keep all your attention on your session and your Dominants commands.

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Prepare to Submit to Her Demands - Slavery and Pleasing your Domina

I believe this to be one of the most important things you can do to get the most out of your session... by building up to it with a long ritual for yourself so that you are already in a submissive headspace before you even begin. Perhaps you want to watch some of your Dommes clips beforehand to help ease you into a submissive state ready for her orders? Or you could take some time to mediate on what it is you hope to gain from this session, and how you hope to please your Domina. Give your mind some breathing space, focusing on yourself and your submission, so that you can come to your webcam session refreshed and ready to please your Dominant.

Submissives: Obey every Dominatrix Command - Use Miss and 'Yes Mistress' with Respect

Finally… once your webcam session begins, remember your etiquette and be as obedient and respectful as possible. Address your Dominant correctly based on what they like, whether that be Mistress, Miss, Domina or some other title. Always use that title when answering questions.... If there is one thing I dislike, it is when a submissive answers me 'yeah' as though I am a mate down the pub, and not 'Yes Mistress' with the respect a Dominant rightfully deserves.

If you wish to ask for something specific or give feedback during the session, then always do it with the utmost respect. An example would be ‘Please Mistress, I beg of you to allow me to stroke’. Every Domme will have their own rules and etiquette, and you should expect to be corrected to their standards. But make sure they need never correct you twice.

Domination Decompress

Finally, allow yourself some time after your session to float back down to reality. Just as before with your pre-session ritual, think about how you can give yourself a post session ritual. Maybe treat yourself to a long relaxing bath whilst you replay the most enjoyable memories of your webcam session. Listen to some of your favourite music and pamper yourself. Take some time just for yourself again, to come back down to earth and reflect on your domination session...

Enjoy your playtime perverts, and I hope you find my tips helpful!

BOOK A WEBCAM SESSION WITH ME HERE

Until next time,

Manchester Mistress Dominatrix BDSM Ashton Under Lyne Playspace Chambers Dungeon Fetish FemDom Kinky - 484
Manchester Mistress Expert Dominatrix Lola Ruin

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Orgasm Control, Edging Tips and Enjoyment

Orgasm Control, Edging Tips and Enjoyment...

By MistressLolaRuin | Jan 30, 2021

On the joys of Orgasm Control…

My Manchester Playspace - The Perfect FemDom Edging Tease

Just imagine being strapped down tightly in my playspace. Naked on my leather bench, your body pulled taunt by the rope I’ve laced you into. Blindfolded and vulnerable, all you can hear is the gentle tapping of my high heels, circling you like prey. You feel some cold, liquid lubricant slowly drip on your cock. You hear my evil laugh pierce the silence as I watch you squirm from the shock of it. Then, you feel something slide onto you, and rhythmically start stroking you. I tell you its my favourite toy, The Venus 2000.

‘This allows me to control your pleasure with just the touch of a dial...’

I demonstrate by turning it up, and you arch upwards and deeper into it as you’re flooded with the sensation. Then, I begin to toy with you. The Venus fluctuates it speed up and down and I turn the dial. Grindingly, teasingly slow all the way up to furious pumping. You sink deeper into a submissive bliss, losing all control to me as you begin inching ever closer to that incredible explosion of pleasure you crave so much. And then, just as you reach the very edge, right on the cusp of what you know will be a mind blowing orgasm…. I STOP. Your body freezes, suspended in frustration for me.

‘My poor little submissive… you didn’t think it was going to be that easy did you? You need to remember, I own your cock now. Let’s start right from the beginning, all over again…’

You are at once totally deflated by this denial, and indescribably excited for me to continue. You hope that maybe this time, I might allow you some release, but you also know you won’t find out what my intentions are until the very last second…

…This, dear readers, is why I love Orgasm Control.
It is the ultimate mind fuck.

Of course, the ways in which I can control that orgasm are varied, ranging from total, repeated denial right through to multiple forced orgasms, milking you under you are completely dry. Each one serves it own purpose in training you to be the very best toy for me you can possibly be.

Types of Orgasm Control, Denial and Edging

Chastity Play

So much of BDSM is about memory. The anticipation as you apply for a session. Your imagination running wild about what might happen after I have accepted you. Then comes the day itself, the nervous butterflies and the experience of being totally present in your body, thoughtless whilst in my company. The weeks after you spend replaying it whilst masturbating furiously. The memories slowly fade, as do whatever marks I may have bestowed upon you…

Chastity is an wonderful way to prolong this. Not only do I decide what you experience when in my playspace, but now I also own your cock 24/7. Unlike those marks that may fade away, or the memories that become blurrier with time, the tight cage encasing you will serve as a constant reminder of your servitude. A constant reminder that your pleasure belongs to me now, your orgasm is totally under my control. Only when I decide to unlock you will you be free again.

Edging and Orgasm Denial

Repeatedly denying your pleasure is another form of orgasm control I use in most of my sessions. Not only will it make total denial even more unbearable, or any eventual orgasm I allow much more powerful (unless of course I decide to ruin… more on that later), but for many of you it seems to push you even deeper into submission for me. As a Domme, I find this both useful, and endlessly entertaining.

Occasionally, I like to begin my sessions by instructing you to edge yourselves a few times right away whilst at my feet. Let’s start as we mean to go on. With each edging, I can see your headspace deepening even more, watching you falling further under my spell. And of course, frustrated boys are always more obedient. So many of you beg me, saying you will do literally anything for a pay off. It’s constantly amusing to me how much more subservient you become when your pleasure is literally hanging in the balance.

Ruined Orgasm

I’ve spoken at length about ruined orgasms before, and it is truly the ultimate mind fuck. To build your excitement up and up, pushing you further and further towards release before withdrawing all stimulation at the very last second… laughing as you watch the sad, unsatisfying orgasm pathetically dribble out of your cock whilst experiencing none of the usual release. Such sweet psychological torment.

I especially love mixing this in with other forms of orgasm control. Just imagine spending a long month in chastity for me. That cage growing tighter everyday as your desire grows to serve me. Then, I unlock you and edge you 20 times in a row, each one even more teasing than the last. Then finally, I say I will allow you a pay off. You have taken orgasm control so well, I will allow you release… only to abandon it at the last second. So delightfully cruel.

And best of all, we can do it over and over again. The secret to the male multiple orgasm is in repeatedly ruining you at just the right moment…

Forced Orgasm and Milking

Dare I say, my least favourite of all forms of orgasm control, for obvious reasons. I much prefer denying your pleasure than allowing you any at all. I enjoy watching you squirm and beg. But, occasionally, I do like to reward my boys should they have done enough to earn it.

Though I may allow you such pleasure, this is naturally still totally under my control. You will only experience this pleasure should I so decide, and as you know I could change my mind at the very last second and still ruin you (teasing you about that throughout the entire build up, lest you forget). Or, even worst…

Post Orgasm Torment

You know how everything becomes ultra-sensitive right after you orgasm? That makes it exactly the perfect moment to inflict some pain upon you. Whether that be as punishment for earlier infractions, or maybe just to immediately pay for the pleasure you enjoyed… nothing stings more than some post orgasm torment.

This could just be as simple and continuing to stroke, the exact same stroking that just gave you so much pleasure now melting away and feeling painfully intense. Or maybe a few little well times flicks of my stiletto nails right into those extra sensitive balls? Or a few strikes of a whip across your cock to help it deflate even faster… Watching you switch immediately from pleasure to pain is always hysterical in the cruellest way possible.

I wonder, dear reader, if you love orgasm control as much as I do? It doesn’t really matter either way, because you will learn to love it if you wish to please me. And the best way to please me is to practise yourself.

I want you pick one of the above, and do it to yourself the next time you masturbate. Whether that be a month in chastity, 10 edgings in a row, a few ruined orgasms spread throughout the day or inflicting some pain on yourself as soon as you release. All the time remembering that I control your orgasms now.

I know it’s not quite the same when you do it to yourself. But, you can just imagine you’re strapped down tightly in my playspace instead…

Until next time,

Manchester Mistress Dominatrix BDSM Ashton Under Lyne Playspace Chambers Dungeon Fetish FemDom Kinky - 484
Manchester Mistress Expert Dominatrix Lola Ruin

•   Browse My Website    •   Follow on Twitter   •   Apply to Serve  •   Read My Blog   •

 

  • My Fetishes are: D/s, BDSM, Fetish, Domination and Kinky Play
  • View my Photo Gallery
  • Lockdown Filming - New Dominatrix Videos for 2021
  • Apply now to be added to my waitlist

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How Much Does It Cost To Make High Quality Dominatrix Porn

How Much Does It Cost To Make High Quality Dominatrix Porn...

By MistressLolaRuin December 20, 2020

Hello all,

Today I want to write you all a blog about what exactly goes into creating FemDom Porn... and why you should be paying for it.

PornHub and its Legacy

Quite a few of you have probably noticed PornHub hitting the headlines again recently, after an expose into abusive and non-consensual content in The New York Times. This article quickly lead to Visa/Mastercard pulling their payment processing. In response, Pornhub did a sweeping reform of their website. Now, only verified accounts are allowed to upload content (really good!), but as yet Visa and Mastercard have yet to reinstate payment processing (really bad, especially for performers who rely on this income, during a winter pandemic, 2 weeks before Christmas...)

FemDom Porn on YouTube and Pornhub

Pornhub has a long and torrid history when it comes to sex workers. If you want to learn more, I highly recommend Jon Ronsons Audible series 'The Butterfly Effect'. But, a quick rundown was the spark of an idea to create 'YouTube for Porn', way back in 2007. They allowed anyone to upload content, with no verification of who the uploaders were or where that content came from. Soon enough, they were quickly averaging 1 million hits a month, and the content was being uploaded far faster than DMCA notices from the owners of that content could take it down. Copycat websites popped up all over, and porn became readily and freely available for everyone with an internet connection. These days, PornHub is estimated to be the 10th most visited website in the world (shooting up to 9th during lockdown). It has trillions of monthly visits, with more hits than Amazon, Netflix or Reddit.

Tube sites like PornHub fundamentally changed the way our industry works. Many porn studios closed, as a pleathora of free content made it much more difficult for performers and producers to earn a living (especially true for 'vanilla' porn as opposed to more niche 'FemDom Porn'). But, these sites changed the way most people even think about porn. The vast majority of porn consumers will never pay for it, crying... 'Why should I pay when I can get it for free?'

Of course, therein lies the problem... most porn ISNT free. Most porn, unless a verified model uploaded it, is stolen. And this Tube site model directly takes money out of the hands of sex workers... an already disempowered, marginalised and criminalised group of people.

In today's blog I am hoping I can convince you to pay for your content, by allowing you a peek behind what goes into it's production. This is especially pertinent right now during a pandemic. Porn use has skyrocketed during lockdowns, whilst sex workers have been left scrambling for new income revenues. If ever there was a time to start paying for your porn, it is now.

The Cost of 'Free' FemDom, The Equipment Required to Record Dominatrix Porn

Whilst you can easily find porn that is free to watch, porn is far from free to actually create. Even more than that, I suspect that most people vastly underestimate just how much money it takes to create quality content.

Take the following screengrab of a recent clip as an example. Looking at this clip, it isn't all that fancy. It's just a simple POV with a simple, skimpy outfit and a single prop. This clip is around 10 minutes long, and I would sell it for $10.99. Take a moment to really just look at this image before reading ahead. Take a wild guess at how much money you think it cost for all the equipment to produce this.

Just how much does FemDom porn cost to produce?

Cost Calculation of Superior Quality Dominatrix Porn Audio and Visual Equipment

I posed this same question on twitter, and guesses ranged from £200 to £3000. Most people seemed to settle around £1000-£2000 range. But, not a single person actually managed to guess the correct amount. So, let me break it down into cold, hard figures...

  1. Video: My DSLR Camera, with a specialist lens, a good tripod, stills remote and SD card : £1250
  2. Lighting: A 4 point lighting set up, with assorted stands and light modifiers : £1500
  3. Audio: My microphone, boomstand and extension lead to record off camera : £400
  4. Setting: A plain background, backdrop stands, chasie and props : £350
  5. Model: My outfit/hair/makeup (including the Louboutin shoes you can't actually see in this shot) : £800
  6. Editing: A specialist creators laptop, which I use ONLY for editing, and software : £2200

Total Cost of Recording Equipment and Time Creating FemDom Porn = £6500

How close was your guess? If you guessed less (which I am almost certain you did), by how much did you underestimate it? Does knowing the true cost make you question the idea of 'free' pornography?

Bear in mind, this is only for the equipment I used for this specific clip. I actually have lots more equipment I swap out for different clips. More backdrops, more lighting and modifiers, different lenses, MUCH more expensive outfits/BDSM toys/props and so on. The total above doesn't include any of that extra equipment I also use regularly. Of course, I use all this equipment over and over again. It's not a one off cost, but an investment into a wider business of content creation. It certainly doesn't cost me this much money every time I make a clip (I would be out of business FAST if that were the case!). But, the point I want to make is, when £6500 worth of equipment goes into making a clip... surely the purchase price of $10.99 seems more than reasonable, right?

FemDom Porn not only takes extensive equipment, but also time and expertise

Making FemDom pornography is not only an expensive business, but a time consuming one. And of course, that £6500 figure above doesn't include my time or my expertise. Creating content is a full time job, which many of us do on top of other forms of sex work. Most of us also do real time, phone and webcam sessions, as well as create content. Not only is it a full time job, but we actually do the job of what many different people would do on a 'traditional' film set. So, let me also break down my time...

You're not just paying for my time, you're paying for a decade of experience too

For this clip, I only spent 10 minutes in front of the camera. But before I filmed this clip, I spent time really planning it out. Coming up with the idea/concept, and writing out a rough (or detailed) script. Deciding how I want to set it up, light it, and shoot it. Picking and polishing my outfit and props. And of course, a couple of hours to perfect my make up and hair (sorry to burst your bubble, I did not wake up like this!)

Once I've finished actually filming, then I'll move onto editing. This can sometimes be fairly quick and straightforward. Occasionally, it might include long tangents on Google and/or YouTube, learning new editing techniques to hone the vision I have for it. I may also spend some time searching through stock footage/music to include (which I will also pay a fee to use). Then, more hours spent writing descriptions, creating previews and video GIFs, and uploading them all to the various clip websites in the correct categories and keywords to make sure you can find them.

I couldn't estimate the sheer amount of time (or actual money) I have spent on different editing, lighting and photography courses learning exactly how to do all of this. Add to that, I have close to a decade of personal and professional play experience. All of which get's distilled into that little 10 minute monologue in my clip. Suffice to say, I have sunk hours upon hours upon hours finetuning my craft. I pour my heart into creating content which I love, and that I sincerely hope you will love too.

And once all that knowledge, money, expertise and creativity is crafted into a clip, uploaded and sold online? Well, then I will also spend hours upon hours trawling Tube sites and shitty forums, finding the pirated copies of it (if I find them at all), and then writing and submitting DMCA takedown notices to those websites, which they may or may not ever take notice of, and which even IF it gets taken down, will likely get uploaded again a few days later...

...Are you tearing your hair out on my behalf yet?

The takeaway from this is... Porn is a luxury, to produce AND to buy. But if you ask me, you are getting a shit-hot deal even when you do buy it, considering all that we pour into making it. The only reason you think you don't is because you have bought into a culture of 'porn is, and should, be free'. Which again... is not and has never been true.

Have another £6500 shot, might as well make the most of it!

'Most FemDom Porn Performers Are Loaded, They Dont Need Me To Pay!'

Here, I want to let you into a real secret... MOST sex workers are not FemDoms answer to Jeff Bezos. Of course, some make great money, but some make very little. Most of us fall somewhere on the spectrum in between. However... pretty much ALL of us market ourselves in an expensive, polished and glamourous way. This is especially true of Dominatrices, and FinDoms in particular.

Sex work is Class Drag. Most of us brand ourselves just as carefully as we produce our content. We present a honed aesthetic which is not a reflection of our true selves, but a creation we have made specifically to titillate you. We are walking fantasies, and we project our most polished versions. Those screenshots you see of us dripping in jewellery surrounded by mounds of cash? They are a reflection of our branding and marketing, and whilst they can contain some truth, they are also creations we have made for the sole purpose of your viewing pleasure.

In the same way most of my twitter followers guessed that above clip cost a lot less to produce than it actually did, I'd be willing to bet most of them would also guess my yearly wage is considerably higher than it is. So, when you make the assumption we are all loaded, that is based on carefully curated images we create of us looking polished as fuck, you are confusing reality with the 'fantasy' of our branding.

Make no mistake, that many sex workers, especially during this pandemic, are struggling to get by. But of course, not many of us are going to reveal personal struggles publicly.

I'd like to share one of my own experiences to illustrate this point. Years ago, I took a break from work in order to look after my mental health after a difficult couple of years. As I couldn't accept sessions or film, I took out a credit card to support myself. At this same time this happened, I found a bunch of my pirated content. The combined views totalled close to $500,000 worth of revenue. I truly cannot describe how sad I felt, to run into debt just to survive as SO MANY people enjoyed my content, but refused to actually compensate me for that labour. Just think if 1% of those people had bought that clip instead. I could have comfortably looked after myself in my time of need.

(Side note: Those of you who bought my content during that time? THANK YOU. You have no idea how much I appreciated it)

Many sex workers are in that same, barely surviving position right now. That is a direct result of the culture of free porn, which simultaneously consumes their content, and yet refuses to support them.

The Rise of the FanClubs

Finally, I want to say that with the rise of fanclubs such as OnlyFans and AVNStars, I don't believe there is any excuse not to pay for porn anymore (if there ever was one). You can get a monthly subscription to your favourite models even more easily and cheaply than before. The amount of content available on most FanClubs is incredible. Plus, you know that you are directly supporting that model you love. It's a win-win situation!

Just as lots of us are becoming more conscious about all of our purchases, I'm going to encourage you to apply those same ethics to the pornography you consume. Recognise that lots of time, money and expertise went into creating that for you. Behind every clip you watch, that there are people relying on your purchase of it to survive.

Just like we pay our monthly subscriptions to Spotify, Netflix, Amazon Prime... why should our pornography be any different? Especially when it's arguable that sex workers need our collective support more than massive corporations. Right now, creating content is the only safe way for sex workers to keep a roof over our heads until we are the other side of COVID. Our careers are deeply stigmatised during the best of times, and the pandemic has only made our lives harder. Actually buying our content is not only fair, but the moral and ethical thing to do.

In a world that routinely fucks us over, you can actively choose instead to support us. Buy our clips, sign up to our fanclubs. Tweet your praise, and encourage others to do the same. Request your own Custom Clip (seriously, custom clips are so special, and are a great way to support your favourite producers). And, if you see any of our pirated content, let us know so we can have it removed.

One last shot, as a reward for reading so far!

Now... let's say you've made it all the way to the end of my blog. And... you still don't want to pay for your porn. If thats the case, I'd like to invite you to reflect on the following questions...
Why do you feel entitled to the free sexual labour of strangers? Why do you expect a marginalised group of people, who have been some of the hardest hit by 2020, to not be compensated for the work they lovingly created that you enjoyed? And, is a person who values their momentary physical pleasure over the ability of a criminalised group of people to survive, really the kind of person you want to be?

Seriously, pay for your fucking porn.
I promise you, ethical orgasms feel even better 😉

Until next time,

Manchester Mistress Dominatrix BDSM Ashton Under Lyne Playspace Chambers Dungeon Fetish FemDom Kinky - 484
Manchester Mistress
Expert Dominatrix Lola Ruin

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Tameside Sex Dungeon Dominatrix Playspace Manchester

Tameside Sex Dungeon Dominatrix Playspace Manchester

By MistressLolaRuin June 16, 2020

I spent many years working in shared Dungeon premises, but opening my own personal playspace was a dream for a long time. To have the freedom to create premises which reflected my own taste and was constructed especially for my own slaves... Finally, that dream became a reality in 2017.

Just a few minutes walk from Ashton Under Lyne centre, my personal playspace is a portal into another world... a gorgeous and bespoke space created entirely to serve as the setting for your deepest and darkest fantasies.

A conversion of an industrial unit, the white brick are adorned with candles and coloured lights, allowing to change the ambience to suit even the most demanding scenes. Filled with heavy steel and black leather furniture, and packed to the brim with every piece of kinky equipment imaginable (more on that below), here your expectations will be exceeded. The walls are embellished with two of my favourite Artists, the delightfully erotic Carolyn Weltman and the incomparable Sardax. Of course, a loud sound system will both fill the room with whatever music I deem best for your scene, and will help to drown out your squeals.

Manchester Mistress Dominatrix BDSM Ashton Under Lyne Playspace Chambers Dungeon Fetish FemDom Kinky - 630

Dominatrix Submission - Slave Application

Every last detail of my dungeon has been meticulously curated with my submissives pain and pleasure in mind... begin your deliciously deep experince and Apply Today to join me in my exlusive playspace.

My chambers are incredibly well served by all Manchester transport links, with the Railway Station, Bus Station and Metrolink all only a 5 minute walk away, and just short 15 minute journey from Manchester city centre. For submissives who drive, my playspace is surrounded by ample free parking in an industrial area. You will enter my realm through a door tucked away in a private courtyard... keeping the most timid amongst you safe in the knowledge there will be no nosey curtain twitching neighbours clocking you entering or leaving my playspace.

Of course, most exciting of all in my playspace is the equipment!

Manchester Mistress Dominatrix BDSM Ashton Under Lyne Playspace Chambers Dungeon Fetish FemDom Kinky - 626

My playroom is packed to the brim with every piece of kinky kit you could dream of. Alongside the standard heavier furniture such as bondage bed, A Frame, Cage an so on, I have all the smaller implements you crave... whips, gags and clamps galore! A more extensive list of my equipment can be found here, but for now, allow me to give you a deeper introduction to 3 of my favourite toys...

Venus Milking Machine
This is my absolute favourite toy bar none. With variable settings and recievers to get exactly the right fit for your milking, the sensation can range from achingly slow to making you cum within seconds! Just imagine me being able to control your pleasure and frustration with a turn of the dial...

F-Machine Gigolo Fucking Machine
One of the top rated machines available, the Gigolo is totally customisable to suit everyone, from the nervous beginner to the experienced strap on sluts! Perhaps we can introduce you with a sensual start before cranking it up to it's impressive top speeds... Best of all, an adaptor means I can use ANY of my extensive dildo collection, and the remote control allows me to subject you to even more forms of torment whilst this Fuck Machine works its magic...

MasterMindCrafts Smother Box
For the facesitting aficinados amongst you, this can smother you like never before. Head clamps allow me to lock you exactly into place, and an inflatable pillow means I can pump you up to exactly the right height to be totally at my mercy, buried between my cheeks...

Manchester Mistress Dominatrix BDSM Ashton Under Lyne Playspace Chambers Dungeon Fetish FemDom Kinky - 627

Alongside my dedicated playroom, my premises also boast...

A Large, 'Art Deco' Reception Room
The perfect space for those of you seeking either a more 'domestic' or homely setting for your fantasies, this is also the perfect place to wind down with a cup of coffee after our play time. This room is home to a large sofa adorned with velvet cushions, candles, mood lighting and a widescreen TV.

A Small Bathroom
With toilet and a shower, plus an abundance of freshly laundered towels and all the toiletries you could possibly want, such as shampoo, condition, shower gel, toothpaste and brushes, deoderant and mouthwash.

A Kitchenette
Always stocked with a selection of different coffees, teas, small snacks and juices, along with kettle, toaster, fridge, freezer. Perfect for my extended experiences!