UK Dominatrix Tips: How A Professional Domme Commands Her Submissive Slaves. A Guide in Kink Domination via Webcam and Virtual Commands to Obey

UK Dominatrix Tips: How A Professional Domme Commands Her Submissive Slaves. A Guide in Kink Domination via Webcam and Virtual Commands to Obey

By MistressLolaRuin | June 1, 2021

COVID has forced most of our kinky lives online, and with that many of us are scratching our naughty itch virtually, even if we have never done so before (personally it has been years since I offered webcam domination in any kind of consistent way). For many of you, this may be a brand new way to play and serve, and whilst new things can be exciting, they can also be daunting.

So… how can you improve your virtual experiences? What can you do as a submissive to make Distance Domination even more thrilling and fulfilling?

UK Professional Dominatrix - Femdom Distance Domination via Webcam


Here are my Top 10 Tips for how you can improve your experience…

Femme Doms and Dominatrix: How To Choose The Right Dominant in Manchester and UK Nationwide

You will know from my website that I'm based in Manchester and pre-Covid was very active in London for weekend bookings, overnight escort dates and Extended Experiences locally in Thameside, Manchester and UK Nationwide when restrictions are lifted. Choose your Dominant carefully. I'm saying this as a word of precaution: I have seen a huge rise in the number of catfishers using Dominants photos to scam money for things like webcam sessions from unsuspecting submissives who have not done their research. If you see a Dominant you like on Instagram or Twitter, you should immediately Google their website. See if it looks legit, and check it actually links to the same profile you found. If they don’t have a website, that should raise some flags.

Also, search for their name online and see what you can find… other social profiles, clip stores, reviews, interviews. Most genuine Dommes have all of the above and more, usually with intricate levels of detail of how they most enjoy playing with their submissives and how you can apply to serve them. This should help you to know… firstly, is this Domme genuine, and secondly, do their interests align with your own?

Dominatrix Webcam Bookings Online - Choosing The Perfect Platform for your Submissive Slavery Sessions

Adultwork and Niteflirt are just two well know platforms which Dommes can offer webcam domination through, and if you’re not sure where to begin your search for a Dominatrix, I would suggest starting there. However… these sites do take a cut, so if you have already chosen a Domme independently of these websites, contact them directly and ask what is their preferred platform and payment processing for webcam sessions (if that isn't already listed on their website).

As with all submission, you should always be striving to make your Dominants life better… and whilst some Dommes may like the ease of using these platforms, others will prefer you book webcam domination directly and cut out the middle man. Again... make sure this is a genuine Dominant before you send money directly by doing your research. If in doubt, hold out and wait until you find someone who looks more trustworthy.


Slaves Sit Up: A Domme Will Demand You Talk - Ruined Orgasm to Roleplay

Speak up! Verbally (or by email) describe your likes and no go areas clearly and succinctly. Articulate in the best way possible to your Dominatrix, She will learn quickly how best to thrill, or to delay your ultimate pleasure.

Tips for communicating your submissive desires with your domination of choice: A few sentences along the lines of ‘I want a therapist roleplay where we begin more vanilla but you become crueller as the session goes on, eventually culminating in a ruined orgasm. I also enjoy edging and nipple play, for example.

I do not like CBT or anal play’ is perfectly fine, and this is plenty for most Dommes to run with!

Striking the balance between being too vague or too prescriptive will serve you well whenever you are approaching a Dominant, whether thats for virtual domination or any other kind of play.

Articulating Effectively in Virtual Domination Webcam Sessions

Contrary to popular opinion, ‘anything you want Mistress’ is generally hard work for most Dommes. We are not mind-readers, and it is even more difficult for us to read body language when we offer virtual sessions. So, make sure you articulate your likes clearly when you apply for your webcam session.

Equally, being too specific can really sap the fun out of it for the Dominant, and lead to a lack lustre webcam session where we spend more time trying to remember your endless list of likes than allowing the play to unfold organically. I have had submissives email me incredibly long scripts for play before, and the more you include the more likely it is I won’t know which parts are the most important or thrilling for you.

Webcam Domination and Submissive Communication - A Dominatrix Mistress Demands Respect From Her Slaves

Before you apply to a Dominatrix, take a moment to really collect your thoughts, and jot down any and all questions you may have regarding distance domination, rather than later bombarding with countless emails each with a single, different question. Of course, you should also be reading their website meticulously to see if your question is already answered there, try my Manchester Mistress - About Me page for a good start.


Pay to Play the Professional in a Respectful Way - Less is More

I generally find that the fewer emails I exchange with a submissive before a webcam session, the more likely I am going to enjoy their company as they obviously respect both me and my time. And under no circumstances should you be sending suggestive or sexy messages unless you have consent and are tipping to do so. Professional Dominants are just that… professionals. You should always treat them as such, and leave the more saucy stuff to when you are actually in a virtual session unless you have agreed to pay more for email play.

Distance Domination Webcam Online Virtual Domme Sessions - Preparation and Remove distractions

If you live with others, schedule the call at a time when they wont be home (hard in lockdown of course!), or at least when they won’t be likely to disturb you. Put your phone on silent and out of the way. Close down all other programs on your laptop. Turn off the TV or any other electronics you won't be using. Some light background music is acceptable, but the speakers should be as far away from your laptop microphone as possible, and the music should be whisper quiet.

I would also suggest having a set of headphones to hand in case you find you get feedback once your session begins... nothing will break the mood more than some deafening echo bouncing between you and your Domme as you scramble to find some earphones! Make sure that your space is as peaceful as possible, so you can focus totally on serving your Dominant.

Remote Dominatrix Webcam Sessions - Test your laptop

Run some internet tests to check that everything is working smoothly, because if there’s one thing that will break your submissive headspace, it’s finding out 2 minutes before your webcam session is due to start that your laptop won’t connect. Do this a few hours prior to your session, and again within the 15 minutes just before. Make sure all your software and drivers are up to date, and most importantly that your laptop is plugged in. Your computer battery dying 10 minutes into your session will ruin it, and not in the fun way 😉

Submissive Tips from a Professional Domme - Prepare your space

Imagine that your Dominant isn’t just appearing on your computer screen, but is actually coming into your room. Would you invite them over with dirty underwear strewn across the floor and used cups all over the sideboards? Of course not, and you should treat webcam domination exactly the same.

Clean away all the clutter, make sure your space looks immaculate, and maybe even put on some mood lighting and candles… make the space as inviting as you would if a Dominant were really in your home. If you have toys you wish to play with during the session, have them laid out neatly, clean, and within arms reach. A tidy space equals a tidy mind, and will allow you to keep all your attention on your session and your Dominants commands.


Prepare to Submit to Her Demands - Slavery and Pleasing your Domina

I believe this to be one of the most important things you can do to get the most out of your session... by building up to it with a long ritual for yourself so that you are already in a submissive headspace before you even begin. Perhaps you want to watch some of your Dommes clips beforehand to help ease you into a submissive state ready for her orders? Or you could take some time to mediate on what it is you hope to gain from this session, and how you hope to please your Domina. Give your mind some breathing space, focusing on yourself and your submission, so that you can come to your webcam session refreshed and ready to please your Dominant.

Submissives: Obey every Dominatrix Command - Use Miss and 'Yes Mistress' with Respect

Finally… once your webcam session begins, remember your etiquette and be as obedient and respectful as possible. Address your Dominant correctly based on what they like, whether that be Mistress, Miss, Domina or some other title. Always use that title when answering questions.... If there is one thing I dislike, it is when a submissive answers me 'yeah' as though I am a mate down the pub, and not 'Yes Mistress' with the respect a Dominant rightfully deserves.

If you wish to ask for something specific or give feedback during the session, then always do it with the utmost respect. An example would be ‘Please Mistress, I beg of you to allow me to stroke’. Every Domme will have their own rules and etiquette, and you should expect to be corrected to their standards. But make sure they need never correct you twice.

Domination Decompress

Finally, allow yourself some time after your session to float back down to reality. Just as before with your pre-session ritual, think about how you can give yourself a post session ritual. Maybe treat yourself to a long relaxing bath whilst you replay the most enjoyable memories of your webcam session. Listen to some of your favourite music and pamper yourself. Take some time just for yourself again, to come back down to earth and reflect on your domination session...

Enjoy your playtime perverts, and I hope you find my tips helpful!


Until next time,

Manchester Mistress Dominatrix BDSM Ashton Under Lyne Playspace Chambers Dungeon Fetish FemDom Kinky - 484
Manchester Mistress Expert Dominatrix Lola Ruin

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By MistressLolaRuin | April 26, 2022

Manchester Mistress Dominatrix - A Domme at work

When I first slipped on a pair of thigh highs over a decade ago, I learned that the men who came to see Me wanted a strong, powerful Woman. They wanted to place you on a pedestal, and use you like a blank screen they could project their fantasies onto. In order to be a successful Domme, you should curate every little glimpse they see to reflect that ideal. Under no circumstances, should you show any weakness or vulnerability.

For a long time, I believed that would be the only possible fantasy men could buy into, and I had to keep up with those smoke and mirrors.

As time went on and I became to question this ‘Dominant Ideal’ more and more. I wondered whether that was something I even bought into Myself. Not only was I the Dominant, but this was My career… could I make My own rules, and still pay My rent?

‘A successful Domme is the picture perfect image of success at all times.
Steely, traditional, hardcore and relentless…’

As a feminist, I also felt conflicted about being a sex worker… I was actively contributing to a highly sexualised view of women, and I grew more and more uneasy about that.

For a long time, I mulled over whether there was a way to humanise Myself more, but still keep those sessions coming to pay My bills. I wanted My followers to see Me and other sex workers as a whole humans, with lives and personalities which are complex and varied.

My work itself also evolved, and I realised how much emotional labour it really involved. Many slaves who came to see Me were not looking for a quick spanking and an orgasm in the corner. They wanted something more than that. They wanted a space which felt safe and intimate and freeing. With that in mind, approaching My work completely void of any real emotion felt fairly disingenuous.

BDSM should first and foremost be about trust and connection.
Once you have that, it paves the way for those therapeutic, cathartic experiences...

I slowly gained more confidence in Myself, and I began to show a little more personality. Little by little, I (willingly) let the façade slip. I began to write more personal blog posts, and spoke more openly about things I feel are important both in and outside BDSM.

When I did that, a funny thing happened. The more personal My blog posts were, the more popular they became. The more vulnerability I showed, the more that seemed to resonate with people. Prospective slaves began to seek Me out as a result of the thoughts and writings I had began to share. As I began to become more authentic and vulnerable in My work, that seemed to really strike a chord with My submissives.

Showing vulnerability as a Dominatrix can feel daunting,
when there is such pressure to be the perfect, Dominant ideal of men's fantasies...

The calibre of slaves who now approached Me dramatically improved. The more openly I talk about Myself, the more respectful and adoring My slaves became. I received less insulting comments or timewasters. I imagine they had begun to see Me as a whole, real person, and not as the perfect, latex clad, whip wielding indestructible Domme.

I talked openly about the importance of consent, relationship styles and mental health. As I did, I suddenly found My submissives were becoming not only more compatible with Me, but that they were opening up to Me more and more. They confined not only their innermost fantasies, but their own struggles. Many of them told Me they had never confined that in anyone else before. I am no therapist, but I think we can all agree from experience that sometimes just being able to speak aloud about your problems can be healing.

There is strength in being so open with another person, regardless of whether it’s a paid encounter or not. Feeling able to be vulnerable, in My experience, is far more often empowering than it isn’t. Beyond that, it fosters a sense of real trust. Even if a slave and I have never met before, they already feel a level of connection to Me because My writings have resonated with them.

As soon as I began to shake off the myth of the Unshakeable, World-Class Dominatrix,
My work became far more meaningful and real, for both Myself and My submissives...

I’m not a therapist, but I believe to the ground that a connection like D/s can be highly therapeutic for all involved. I love giving that space to My submissives, and developing a real sense of connection and trust with them. In fact, it’s probably what I love most about My work.

If I could give a single piece of advice to any apprising Dominant, it would be to be authentic to yourself, and not to an ideal which by definition is impossible to obtain. Speak freely about what matters to you, be strong enough to show vulnerability, and you’ll find that attracts the slaves you’ll love to play with…

“What happens when people open their hearts?"
"They get better.”
― Haruki Murakami

Until next time...

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Orgasm Control, Edging Tips and Enjoyment

Orgasm Control, Edging Tips and Enjoyment...

By MistressLolaRuin | Jan 30, 2021

On the joys of Orgasm Control…

My Manchester Playspace - The Perfect FemDom Edging Tease

Just imagine being strapped down tightly in my playspace. Naked on my leather bench, your body pulled taunt by the rope I’ve laced you into. Blindfolded and vulnerable, all you can hear is the gentle tapping of my high heels, circling you like prey. You feel some cold, liquid lubricant slowly drip on your cock. You hear my evil laugh pierce the silence as I watch you squirm from the shock of it. Then, you feel something slide onto you, and rhythmically start stroking you. I tell you its my favourite toy, The Venus 2000.

‘This allows me to control your pleasure with just the touch of a dial...’

I demonstrate by turning it up, and you arch upwards and deeper into it as you’re flooded with the sensation. Then, I begin to toy with you. The Venus fluctuates it speed up and down and I turn the dial. Grindingly, teasingly slow all the way up to furious pumping. You sink deeper into a submissive bliss, losing all control to me as you begin inching ever closer to that incredible explosion of pleasure you crave so much. And then, just as you reach the very edge, right on the cusp of what you know will be a mind blowing orgasm…. I STOP. Your body freezes, suspended in frustration for me.

‘My poor little submissive… you didn’t think it was going to be that easy did you? You need to remember, I own your cock now. Let’s start right from the beginning, all over again…’

You are at once totally deflated by this denial, and indescribably excited for me to continue. You hope that maybe this time, I might allow you some release, but you also know you won’t find out what my intentions are until the very last second…

…This, dear readers, is why I love Orgasm Control.
It is the ultimate mind fuck.

Of course, the ways in which I can control that orgasm are varied, ranging from total, repeated denial right through to multiple forced orgasms, milking you under you are completely dry. Each one serves it own purpose in training you to be the very best toy for me you can possibly be.

Types of Orgasm Control, Denial and Edging

Chastity Play

So much of BDSM is about memory. The anticipation as you apply for a session. Your imagination running wild about what might happen after I have accepted you. Then comes the day itself, the nervous butterflies and the experience of being totally present in your body, thoughtless whilst in my company. The weeks after you spend replaying it whilst masturbating furiously. The memories slowly fade, as do whatever marks I may have bestowed upon you…

Chastity is an wonderful way to prolong this. Not only do I decide what you experience when in my playspace, but now I also own your cock 24/7. Unlike those marks that may fade away, or the memories that become blurrier with time, the tight cage encasing you will serve as a constant reminder of your servitude. A constant reminder that your pleasure belongs to me now, your orgasm is totally under my control. Only when I decide to unlock you will you be free again.

Edging and Orgasm Denial

Repeatedly denying your pleasure is another form of orgasm control I use in most of my sessions. Not only will it make total denial even more unbearable, or any eventual orgasm I allow much more powerful (unless of course I decide to ruin… more on that later), but for many of you it seems to push you even deeper into submission for me. As a Domme, I find this both useful, and endlessly entertaining.

Occasionally, I like to begin my sessions by instructing you to edge yourselves a few times right away whilst at my feet. Let’s start as we mean to go on. With each edging, I can see your headspace deepening even more, watching you falling further under my spell. And of course, frustrated boys are always more obedient. So many of you beg me, saying you will do literally anything for a pay off. It’s constantly amusing to me how much more subservient you become when your pleasure is literally hanging in the balance.

Ruined Orgasm

I’ve spoken at length about ruined orgasms before, and it is truly the ultimate mind fuck. To build your excitement up and up, pushing you further and further towards release before withdrawing all stimulation at the very last second… laughing as you watch the sad, unsatisfying orgasm pathetically dribble out of your cock whilst experiencing none of the usual release. Such sweet psychological torment.

I especially love mixing this in with other forms of orgasm control. Just imagine spending a long month in chastity for me. That cage growing tighter everyday as your desire grows to serve me. Then, I unlock you and edge you 20 times in a row, each one even more teasing than the last. Then finally, I say I will allow you a pay off. You have taken orgasm control so well, I will allow you release… only to abandon it at the last second. So delightfully cruel.

And best of all, we can do it over and over again. The secret to the male multiple orgasm is in repeatedly ruining you at just the right moment…

Forced Orgasm and Milking

Dare I say, my least favourite of all forms of orgasm control, for obvious reasons. I much prefer denying your pleasure than allowing you any at all. I enjoy watching you squirm and beg. But, occasionally, I do like to reward my boys should they have done enough to earn it.

Though I may allow you such pleasure, this is naturally still totally under my control. You will only experience this pleasure should I so decide, and as you know I could change my mind at the very last second and still ruin you (teasing you about that throughout the entire build up, lest you forget). Or, even worst…

Post Orgasm Torment

You know how everything becomes ultra-sensitive right after you orgasm? That makes it exactly the perfect moment to inflict some pain upon you. Whether that be as punishment for earlier infractions, or maybe just to immediately pay for the pleasure you enjoyed… nothing stings more than some post orgasm torment.

This could just be as simple and continuing to stroke, the exact same stroking that just gave you so much pleasure now melting away and feeling painfully intense. Or maybe a few little well times flicks of my stiletto nails right into those extra sensitive balls? Or a few strikes of a whip across your cock to help it deflate even faster… Watching you switch immediately from pleasure to pain is always hysterical in the cruellest way possible.

I wonder, dear reader, if you love orgasm control as much as I do? It doesn’t really matter either way, because you will learn to love it if you wish to please me. And the best way to please me is to practise yourself.

I want you pick one of the above, and do it to yourself the next time you masturbate. Whether that be a month in chastity, 10 edgings in a row, a few ruined orgasms spread throughout the day or inflicting some pain on yourself as soon as you release. All the time remembering that I control your orgasms now.

I know it’s not quite the same when you do it to yourself. But, you can just imagine you’re strapped down tightly in my playspace instead…

Until next time,

Manchester Mistress Dominatrix BDSM Ashton Under Lyne Playspace Chambers Dungeon Fetish FemDom Kinky - 484
Manchester Mistress Expert Dominatrix Lola Ruin

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  • My Fetishes are: D/s, BDSM, Fetish, Domination and Kinky Play
  • View my Photo Gallery
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Dominatrix Filming Manchester and UK

Dominatrix Filming Manchester and UK

By MistressLolaRuin August 10, 2020

Hello all,

Well... things have changed pretty drastically since my last blog to you all haven't they? I very much hope you and your loved ones are keeping happy, healthy and safe in amongst this craziness.

I closed my playspace doors back in Mid-March, prior to the official lockdown... and as yet, it pains me to say I have no plans to re-open them.

Truthfully, I would be quite shocked if I will be back to sessions before 2021. Even when my doors do open again, I may begin with only a select few submissives... my regulars, those who had cancelled sessions, and those who have already paid deposits. For those of you who were quietly gathering up the courage to finally take the plunge and serve me, but had yet to contact me to arrange, sadly it seems you will be waiting quite a long time...

So, what is a poor depraved and deprived pervert like you supposed to do?

OBVIOUSLY you should be subscribing to my OnlyFans, AVN stars and binge purchasing my videos, of course! 😉

Lockdown Filming - New Dominatrix Videos for 2020

Want to see all the videos I have been creating?

Browse and purchase...

Or subscribe...
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Click to Purchase!
Blackmailed Cheater

Lockdown Filming - Buy Personalised Videos by Request

In all seriousness... Lockdown has finally given me some dedicated time to really dive into video production. I first began filming videos seriously in my 2nd year of being a Dominatrix, so I've certainly had plenty of practice. But as a predominantly sessioning Dominatrix, I simply haven't had the time to dedicate to researching more and more about filming. Until now.

How would you personalise your video? Remember, the recording is for you to own. What would you like to include? Discover all the details by completing my Application to Serve today ;)

4K Upgrade from HD - Glorious Delicious Details - Clarity in Full Colour

I've spent the last 6 months investing in swaths of new equipment... an entire new set of lighting, a brand new microphone, incredible lenses, backdrops, props, and I'll soon be upgrading my camera from Full HD to glorious 4k. My bank balance might hate me... but my clip connoisseurs are loving me. And of course they are. Along with new equipment, I've also been investing most of my time in gaining new knowledge and expertise... And I am so pleased with the results!

I have always prided myself on creating high quality content, but finally having some time to experiment, to trial and error, to play, to learn new editing techniques... it has certainly been a silver lining of lockdown. This last 6 months has also allowed me to freedom to finally explore some artistry with my clips. To feel as though I am creating something special for you subs to purchase. I have been getting some wonderful feedback from my fans, and this makes all the work seem more than worthwhile.

To request your very own Custom Clip, click here!

As mentioned, I have no plans to begin sessions again any time soon. So, right now, custom videos are the only way to get your kink fix from me. Personally, I LOVE creating custom videos for my submissives... to hear your ideas and suggestions, take them and run wild with my imagination, putting my own kinky twist on it and turning it into a magical piece of film you will cherish (and jerk off to) forever...

What would you like me to film? Imagine your Mistress being available whenever you access your video file. What do you fancy? Let's Begin: Complete your Application to Serve now.

Seeing as we are on the subject of filming, I am also going to take a moment to really encourage anyone reading this that... even if you don't want to buy the content I produce, I really hope that you do *buy your porn*. I know it's easy to hop onto a tube website, quickly jerk off and never think about it again. But the content you consume for free... someone paid to make it. Someone spent years honing their skills in production, invested £1000's in equipment, and gave their time and energy to create that for you to watch. And right now, many sex workers are facing a real unknown.

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Spit Smoothie

Many content producers have seen their incomes decimated as a result of COVID, and sex workers in general struggle to access government help (for obvious reasons). If you have never bought porn before, right now is the BEST time to start. Especially with the advent of subscription websites, you can get an incredible amount of content for a great price.

Not only will you feel warm and fuzzy that you are supporting sex workers whose content you love, but the orgasms feel better... I promise 😉

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Unworthy Stinky Foot Worship

Until next time,

Manchester Mistress Expert Dominatrix - Lola Run

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How Much Does It Cost To Make High Quality Dominatrix Porn

How Much Does It Cost To Make High Quality Dominatrix Porn...

By MistressLolaRuin December 20, 2020

Hello all,

Today I want to write you all a blog about what exactly goes into creating FemDom Porn... and why you should be paying for it.

PornHub and its Legacy

Quite a few of you have probably noticed PornHub hitting the headlines again recently, after an expose into abusive and non-consensual content in The New York Times. This article quickly lead to Visa/Mastercard pulling their payment processing. In response, Pornhub did a sweeping reform of their website. Now, only verified accounts are allowed to upload content (really good!), but as yet Visa and Mastercard have yet to reinstate payment processing (really bad, especially for performers who rely on this income, during a winter pandemic, 2 weeks before Christmas...)

FemDom Porn on YouTube and Pornhub

Pornhub has a long and torrid history when it comes to sex workers. If you want to learn more, I highly recommend Jon Ronsons Audible series 'The Butterfly Effect'. But, a quick rundown was the spark of an idea to create 'YouTube for Porn', way back in 2007. They allowed anyone to upload content, with no verification of who the uploaders were or where that content came from. Soon enough, they were quickly averaging 1 million hits a month, and the content was being uploaded far faster than DMCA notices from the owners of that content could take it down. Copycat websites popped up all over, and porn became readily and freely available for everyone with an internet connection. These days, PornHub is estimated to be the 10th most visited website in the world (shooting up to 9th during lockdown). It has trillions of monthly visits, with more hits than Amazon, Netflix or Reddit.

Tube sites like PornHub fundamentally changed the way our industry works. Many porn studios closed, as a pleathora of free content made it much more difficult for performers and producers to earn a living (especially true for 'vanilla' porn as opposed to more niche 'FemDom Porn'). But, these sites changed the way most people even think about porn. The vast majority of porn consumers will never pay for it, crying... 'Why should I pay when I can get it for free?'

Of course, therein lies the problem... most porn ISNT free. Most porn, unless a verified model uploaded it, is stolen. And this Tube site model directly takes money out of the hands of sex workers... an already disempowered, marginalised and criminalised group of people.

In today's blog I am hoping I can convince you to pay for your content, by allowing you a peek behind what goes into it's production. This is especially pertinent right now during a pandemic. Porn use has skyrocketed during lockdowns, whilst sex workers have been left scrambling for new income revenues. If ever there was a time to start paying for your porn, it is now.

The Cost of 'Free' FemDom, The Equipment Required to Record Dominatrix Porn

Whilst you can easily find porn that is free to watch, porn is far from free to actually create. Even more than that, I suspect that most people vastly underestimate just how much money it takes to create quality content.

Take the following screengrab of a recent clip as an example. Looking at this clip, it isn't all that fancy. It's just a simple POV with a simple, skimpy outfit and a single prop. This clip is around 10 minutes long, and I would sell it for $10.99. Take a moment to really just look at this image before reading ahead. Take a wild guess at how much money you think it cost for all the equipment to produce this.

Just how much does FemDom porn cost to produce?

Cost Calculation of Superior Quality Dominatrix Porn Audio and Visual Equipment

I posed this same question on twitter, and guesses ranged from £200 to £3000. Most people seemed to settle around £1000-£2000 range. But, not a single person actually managed to guess the correct amount. So, let me break it down into cold, hard figures...

  1. Video: My DSLR Camera, with a specialist lens, a good tripod, stills remote and SD card : £1250
  2. Lighting: A 4 point lighting set up, with assorted stands and light modifiers : £1500
  3. Audio: My microphone, boomstand and extension lead to record off camera : £400
  4. Setting: A plain background, backdrop stands, chasie and props : £350
  5. Model: My outfit/hair/makeup (including the Louboutin shoes you can't actually see in this shot) : £800
  6. Editing: A specialist creators laptop, which I use ONLY for editing, and software : £2200

Total Cost of Recording Equipment and Time Creating FemDom Porn = £6500

How close was your guess? If you guessed less (which I am almost certain you did), by how much did you underestimate it? Does knowing the true cost make you question the idea of 'free' pornography?

Bear in mind, this is only for the equipment I used for this specific clip. I actually have lots more equipment I swap out for different clips. More backdrops, more lighting and modifiers, different lenses, MUCH more expensive outfits/BDSM toys/props and so on. The total above doesn't include any of that extra equipment I also use regularly. Of course, I use all this equipment over and over again. It's not a one off cost, but an investment into a wider business of content creation. It certainly doesn't cost me this much money every time I make a clip (I would be out of business FAST if that were the case!). But, the point I want to make is, when £6500 worth of equipment goes into making a clip... surely the purchase price of $10.99 seems more than reasonable, right?

FemDom Porn not only takes extensive equipment, but also time and expertise

Making FemDom pornography is not only an expensive business, but a time consuming one. And of course, that £6500 figure above doesn't include my time or my expertise. Creating content is a full time job, which many of us do on top of other forms of sex work. Most of us also do real time, phone and webcam sessions, as well as create content. Not only is it a full time job, but we actually do the job of what many different people would do on a 'traditional' film set. So, let me also break down my time...

You're not just paying for my time, you're paying for a decade of experience too

For this clip, I only spent 10 minutes in front of the camera. But before I filmed this clip, I spent time really planning it out. Coming up with the idea/concept, and writing out a rough (or detailed) script. Deciding how I want to set it up, light it, and shoot it. Picking and polishing my outfit and props. And of course, a couple of hours to perfect my make up and hair (sorry to burst your bubble, I did not wake up like this!)

Once I've finished actually filming, then I'll move onto editing. This can sometimes be fairly quick and straightforward. Occasionally, it might include long tangents on Google and/or YouTube, learning new editing techniques to hone the vision I have for it. I may also spend some time searching through stock footage/music to include (which I will also pay a fee to use). Then, more hours spent writing descriptions, creating previews and video GIFs, and uploading them all to the various clip websites in the correct categories and keywords to make sure you can find them.

I couldn't estimate the sheer amount of time (or actual money) I have spent on different editing, lighting and photography courses learning exactly how to do all of this. Add to that, I have close to a decade of personal and professional play experience. All of which get's distilled into that little 10 minute monologue in my clip. Suffice to say, I have sunk hours upon hours upon hours finetuning my craft. I pour my heart into creating content which I love, and that I sincerely hope you will love too.

And once all that knowledge, money, expertise and creativity is crafted into a clip, uploaded and sold online? Well, then I will also spend hours upon hours trawling Tube sites and shitty forums, finding the pirated copies of it (if I find them at all), and then writing and submitting DMCA takedown notices to those websites, which they may or may not ever take notice of, and which even IF it gets taken down, will likely get uploaded again a few days later...

...Are you tearing your hair out on my behalf yet?

The takeaway from this is... Porn is a luxury, to produce AND to buy. But if you ask me, you are getting a shit-hot deal even when you do buy it, considering all that we pour into making it. The only reason you think you don't is because you have bought into a culture of 'porn is, and should, be free'. Which again... is not and has never been true.

Have another £6500 shot, might as well make the most of it!

'Most FemDom Porn Performers Are Loaded, They Dont Need Me To Pay!'

Here, I want to let you into a real secret... MOST sex workers are not FemDoms answer to Jeff Bezos. Of course, some make great money, but some make very little. Most of us fall somewhere on the spectrum in between. However... pretty much ALL of us market ourselves in an expensive, polished and glamourous way. This is especially true of Dominatrices, and FinDoms in particular.

Sex work is Class Drag. Most of us brand ourselves just as carefully as we produce our content. We present a honed aesthetic which is not a reflection of our true selves, but a creation we have made specifically to titillate you. We are walking fantasies, and we project our most polished versions. Those screenshots you see of us dripping in jewellery surrounded by mounds of cash? They are a reflection of our branding and marketing, and whilst they can contain some truth, they are also creations we have made for the sole purpose of your viewing pleasure.

In the same way most of my twitter followers guessed that above clip cost a lot less to produce than it actually did, I'd be willing to bet most of them would also guess my yearly wage is considerably higher than it is. So, when you make the assumption we are all loaded, that is based on carefully curated images we create of us looking polished as fuck, you are confusing reality with the 'fantasy' of our branding.

Make no mistake, that many sex workers, especially during this pandemic, are struggling to get by. But of course, not many of us are going to reveal personal struggles publicly.

I'd like to share one of my own experiences to illustrate this point. Years ago, I took a break from work in order to look after my mental health after a difficult couple of years. As I couldn't accept sessions or film, I took out a credit card to support myself. At this same time this happened, I found a bunch of my pirated content. The combined views totalled close to $500,000 worth of revenue. I truly cannot describe how sad I felt, to run into debt just to survive as SO MANY people enjoyed my content, but refused to actually compensate me for that labour. Just think if 1% of those people had bought that clip instead. I could have comfortably looked after myself in my time of need.

(Side note: Those of you who bought my content during that time? THANK YOU. You have no idea how much I appreciated it)

Many sex workers are in that same, barely surviving position right now. That is a direct result of the culture of free porn, which simultaneously consumes their content, and yet refuses to support them.

The Rise of the FanClubs

Finally, I want to say that with the rise of fanclubs such as OnlyFans and AVNStars, I don't believe there is any excuse not to pay for porn anymore (if there ever was one). You can get a monthly subscription to your favourite models even more easily and cheaply than before. The amount of content available on most FanClubs is incredible. Plus, you know that you are directly supporting that model you love. It's a win-win situation!

Just as lots of us are becoming more conscious about all of our purchases, I'm going to encourage you to apply those same ethics to the pornography you consume. Recognise that lots of time, money and expertise went into creating that for you. Behind every clip you watch, that there are people relying on your purchase of it to survive.

Just like we pay our monthly subscriptions to Spotify, Netflix, Amazon Prime... why should our pornography be any different? Especially when it's arguable that sex workers need our collective support more than massive corporations. Right now, creating content is the only safe way for sex workers to keep a roof over our heads until we are the other side of COVID. Our careers are deeply stigmatised during the best of times, and the pandemic has only made our lives harder. Actually buying our content is not only fair, but the moral and ethical thing to do.

In a world that routinely fucks us over, you can actively choose instead to support us. Buy our clips, sign up to our fanclubs. Tweet your praise, and encourage others to do the same. Request your own Custom Clip (seriously, custom clips are so special, and are a great way to support your favourite producers). And, if you see any of our pirated content, let us know so we can have it removed.

One last shot, as a reward for reading so far!

Now... let's say you've made it all the way to the end of my blog. And... you still don't want to pay for your porn. If thats the case, I'd like to invite you to reflect on the following questions...
Why do you feel entitled to the free sexual labour of strangers? Why do you expect a marginalised group of people, who have been some of the hardest hit by 2020, to not be compensated for the work they lovingly created that you enjoyed? And, is a person who values their momentary physical pleasure over the ability of a criminalised group of people to survive, really the kind of person you want to be?

Seriously, pay for your fucking porn.
I promise you, ethical orgasms feel even better 😉

Until next time,

Manchester Mistress Dominatrix BDSM Ashton Under Lyne Playspace Chambers Dungeon Fetish FemDom Kinky - 484
Manchester Mistress
Expert Dominatrix Lola Ruin

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