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Read My Personal Musings
Take a peak behind the curtain of Professional Domination... 
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Control (and paying for the illusion of giving it up)…

By MistressLolaRuin | October 31, 2016

I recently began reading a book titled ‘Dominatrix: Gender, Eroticism, and Control in the Dungeon’ by Danielle J. Lindemann. The first chapter explores who really had control within a professional Dungeon setting, the paying submissive for the paid for Dominatrix, based on interviews the author had with Professional Dominants in America. I thought the topic might make for good blog material, and tweeted out to see what others thought.

I received so many responses from both submissives and other Dommes. Thank you to all those who were kind enough to tweet back with their views. Some even sent Me emails with longer accounts of their thoughts. From the range of responses, I got, it seems this is a hot topic that everyone has an opinion on.

Most of the responses I received placed control with the submissive, and it’s easy to see why. They choose the Domme they wish to pay to submit to. They dictate their likes, limits, and often request an outfit. Sometimes they will provide trigger phrases for their Domme to say, and some even go as far as to heavily script the session. If given a safeword, they continue to hold control even during play as they have the ability to stop the session at any time by using it.

Having said all that, I don’t believe it is always quite so simple. Can it really still be the case the sub is the one in control when the Domme must choose to accept their session? Whilst the same might not be true of brand new Dommes or ‘house’ dungeons in America, more independent and well-known Dommes have total control over their vetting process. Those of Us Dominas whom have other incomes streams, such as clips sales, online sessions, or other forms of work can afford to be even choosier. The ability to pay Our bills is not entirely dependant on how many real time sessions We accept.

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My Love of Latex…

By MistressLolaRuin | September 27, 2016

It’s obvious from My galleries and tweets just how much I love latex clothing. My collection is constantly growing, and when I bought a new double wardrobe a couple of months ago, one half of it was immediately assigned to holding all of My rubber. It is already overflowing.

Today, I thought I would give you a closer look at one of My favourite fetishes, explaining in more detail what it is about latex that I personally find so erotic.

Firstly, I adore the way that latex looks. The ultra glossy finish, and super tight fit which seems to accentuate every curve whilst pulling Me in in all the right places. This is even more obvious when I pour Myself in My favourite piece, My corsetted catsuit from House of Harlot. Gifted to Me by a wonderfully generous slave, whom loves latex almost as much as I do…

I also love the way that latex feels. I immediately feel sexier, more dominant, more ‘fetishistic’. Simply the feeling of a tight second skin around Me is so erotic. How sensual it feels, both restrictive and slippy when I have lubed up to get into it. How warm it is been wearing it for hours and have built up a sweat inside. I recently had a bath whilst wearing the catsuit pictured above, and this was a whole new sensation. A dip into a swimming pool whilst head to toe in rubber is near the top of My bucket list as a result…

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Ask Me Anything Q&A…

By MistressLolaRuin | September 13, 2016

Today’s blog is a Q&A, with questions submitted by My twitter followers.

At what age did you realise your calling to dominate the weak male, and how?

I think I have always had a Dominant side, and was always told as a little girl that I was too bossy. Pretty much as soon as I became interested in sex I also became interested in kink (foot fetishism in particular fascinated Me, and was very much a ‘gateway fetish’…). I then began a relationship with a wonderful guy who identified as sub, and this was My first real introduction to more traditional D/s. Although we have since parted ways, I remained Domme 🙂

How long have you been hooping?

I’ve been hooping for about a year. I have a lot to learn still and sadly not quite as much time to practice anymore. I’d love to learn acro/acroyoga, contact juggling too!

How many dommes do you think are into it only for the money, as opposed to at least partly for genuine enthusiasm for BDSM?

I think it would be incredibly hard to really do well at this job, and therefore earn a lot of money, unless you have a genuine interest and understanding of BDSM. Having said that, I have met a fair few Dommes who do not identify as lifestyle players. They are still amazing Dommes. On a slight tangent, I can understand why to our slaves our enjoyment/a genuine interest in BDSM is important, but in general the empowerment rhetoric around sex work really irks Me. Everyone who charges money for what they are doing are doing it for the money. A genuine enjoyment or passion for that is a bonus, in any line of work.

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Make Me Happy…

By MistressLolaRuin | September 3, 2016

Today I thought I would write a blog about some of the small ways you can strive to make Me happy.

Some of you blog readers are loyal sessioning and personal slaves. Some of you admire Me from afar through My webcam/phone sessions and clips. Maybe you just come here to perv over My photos whilst you gather up the courage to come and see Me. No matter what your level of servitude or admiration of Me is, here are a few small things you can do to make Me smile…

Realise that My time is precious
Alongside all My real-time/webcam/phone sessions, I also do all My own administration and book keeping. I manage everything to do with My Clips, including filming, editing and uploading to My various stores. My website was completely built from scratch, and is now maintained, by Me. I don’t outsource any aspect of My business… It’s almost as though I don’t like the idea of giving up control 😉
So, when I am sent a 1000 word ‘introductory’ email, none of which actually specifies how you might like to serve Me, it doesn’t get My attention. In all likelihood will get glossed over and ignored so, for your own benefit too, be succinct in your communication to Me. Make it easy for Me to respond to you.
(This is not to say I don’t like building a relationship with My various slaves. Once you have proven yourself as a worthy submissive, then you will get more of My attention. Until then, keep it respectful, short and sweet.)

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Behind the scenes…

By MistressLolaRuin | August 26, 2016

Today I thought I would take you ‘behind the scenes’ of both My work and play.

Late last week I travelled down to the infamous English Mansion after being invited to a FemDom Garden party, hosted by the wonderful Mistress Sidonia. Also attended by Mistress Evilyne and Mistress Annalieza, We were served and entertained by 5 very lucky subbies (or perhaps you would class them as unlucky considering how cruel all Us ladies are…?)

Of course, all of Our antics were captured on video (along with other scenes I filmed whilst there), and will be available on The English Mansion Website soon…

After the garden party I stayed over at the Mansion, then early the next morning rushed off to meet up with My sister at a small yoga festival close by. Outside of Domming I have many vanilla interests of which yoga comes pretty near the top of the list, perhaps this will be a surprise to those of you who think I live in latex and thigh boots!

After a night pampering Myself in a hotel, I finally made the long journey back up North to Manchester. Naturally, My slaves there were patiently waiting for My return.

It seems I am very much living by a ‘work hard, play hard’ motto right now. Not only do I adore My work, I also adore how it allows Me the luxury of being able to take time off to pursue other pleasures.

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An Anniversary…

By MistressLolaRuin | May 9, 2016

I just realised this past weekend that I passed a milestone in My career as a Professional Dominatrix… the anniversary of when I first started working at My very first Dungeon. It seems fitting to write a blog to reflect and celebrate 🙂

I adore what I do for a living, and I think the past year in particular I have fallen in love with it all over again. Before I became a Domme, I worked an awful minimum wage call centre job, which was the only job I could get after graduating into a recession. The anti-sex work brigade always cite ‘economic coercion’ as a major reason why people enter the adult industry (personally I’m pretty sure anyone who has a job is economically coerced into it…), and whilst it was true that it was certainly the best career choice available to Me financially, it was also the most fun, exciting, interesting, stimulating, flexible… I could go on and on. Even now years later, when I could conceivably find another profession much more easily than I could as a recent graduate, I wouldn’t want to.

Don’t get Me wrong, there have been a few lows… when long serving, loyal slaves have moved on or been dismissed, when the government brings out legislation without consultation or warning that seriously impacts you, and when the slew of time-wasters that all Us Dommes have to put up with have outnumbered the sessions. When the work just isn’t there it can be pretty disheartening, and when you are in a sense selling yourself, it’s hard not to take those quiet spells personally. Not to mention the social stigma that can be attached to working in the adult industry… How that affects what friends/families/strangers/society think of you, how dating can be a minefield, how it can affect your future career choices and all the associated issues people working in My industry face (and on which I could write a dissertation about…)

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Venus 2000…

By MistressLolaRuin | May 5, 2016

A very quick blog today to let you know that My Venus 2000 machine is finally back in action and available during My real time sessions.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Venus 2000, here is a little excerpt from their official website…
Venus for Men is a high-tech, hands-free stroking masturbation machine. It’s durable, portable and quiet design allow the user to adjust the stroke length and stroke speed from 8 to 300 strokes per minute. Venus for Men is the only product on the market that allows you to reach orgasm with or without an erection. The custom receiver provides the user with a personalized fit to allow maximum pleasure with every use.
Of course, when I bring My Venus out to play, it is rarely about your pleasure… Just picture Me unlocking you from your chastity, strapping you down and edging you over and over again. Teasing you, denying you, and of course torturing you after your ruined orgasm has dribbled out of you. And if I am feeling particularly cruel, maybe I will even use My ‘conductive’ receiver to electro-shock your pathetic cock throughout…

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Back to Filming…

By MistressLolaRuin | April 19, 2016

A very quick update today to let you know that after a fairly long and haphazard hiatus, I am finally getting back into filming!
Unfortunately when certain regulations came into effect in December 2014, I became very disheartened. I continued to take custom requests from My most loyal fans but I moved away from filming for filming sake. It just seemed silly to Me to pool My time and resources into an aspect of My business which could become further criminalised at any time and without warning.
Now some time has passed though, and I feel a little better about putting out new content. Especially seeing as My clips are mostly provocative, non-nude POV style clips and not really traditionally pornographic in nature. I am sure this will make many of you as happy as it makes Me!
When I have a little more time I may well write a longer blog post about My views on censorship and pornography, but in the mean time here is some eye candy, teaser snapshots from My latest uploads…

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Reality VS. Fantasy…

By MistressLolaRuin | March 30, 2016

Earlier this week I welcomed a new novice slave into My chambers for his very first session. Afterwards, he sent Me an incredibly insightful email about his thoughts and (with his permission) here is a small excerpt which I thought I would discuss in further detail…
I was also really surprised and impressed by the way you conducted yourself in and out of our session, the contrast in personalities was not something I had expected, and correct me if I’m wrong but it really goes to show how societal conventions have forced us as humans to adapt in a manner that sufficiently satisfy the expectations and demands associated with our given environment. If you don’t mind me asking, when dommes such as yourself and Mistress Noir in this case, were laughing and mocking me during our session, was this a partially forced gesture for the sake of keeping to character, or did you really take genuine pleasure in seeing me act in that slavish manner, again within character?

Of course, I do get genuine pleasure from My sessions. I don’t accept sessions that don’t interest Me, and My services list is notably missing a few incredibly popular activities for the simple reason that I don’t enjoy and/or wish to engage in them with My submissives. It is important to Me that My work never feels like work, and I would rather lose out on sessions than accept anyone and everyone for the sake of My bank balance.
But there are other things at play in what My slave has said here too. There are a few reasons why My personality appears different during play time than outside of it…

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What do you do for a living?

By MistressLolaRuin | March 22, 2016

So I thought today I would write a more personal blog post, answering in a little more detail one of the questions I am most often asked by My subs…
‘How do people react you tell them you’re a Professional Dominatrix?’

Firstly let Me say that I am fortunate enough to live My life incredibly openly… My family all know what I do, and even more fortunately, they are accepting of the fact that I have landed in a line of work which makes Me happy… So as I have no one close to Me I need to protect, and no need to lie in order to protect them, when someone asks Me what My job is I have the luxury of honesty and say that I work as a Dominatrix.
(A few exceptions to this… If I am meeting someone in passing then occasionally I will tell a white lie for ease of conversation. Sometimes I just say I am self-employed (true) sometimes I say I work as a PA (My most recent vanilla job, easy to bullshit about and boring enough to not prompt too many questions) or sometimes I say I’m a video editor… but 99% of the time, I just tell the truth).

Generally, My admission leads to a host of other questions…

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