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The Healing Power of BDSM…

By MistressLolaRuin | February 16, 2020

I’ve long held the opinion that BDSM play can be therapeutic, for both Dommes and submissives. I’ve personally found a majority of my subs find a sense of freedom and healing, through serving a Dominant. I make reference to this a few times throughout my website, and so today I thought I would dedicate a longer blog post to it.

Now, before I delve more into my own thoughts, I feel the need to make something very clear. Recently there have been a spate of mainstream media articles, all discussing BDSM as their therapy. Now, whilst I truly believe that BDSM play can be healing, I do not believe that seeing a Dominatrix should ever be a substitution for actual therapy. This is an important distinction. Let’s take the example of a past traumatic sexual experience. Re-enacting what happened to you in a space where you feel safe and ultimately in control (hello safewords!) can of course be incredibly healing.

However, it will never match up to discussing this at length with a trained psychological professional. Not only is a Dominatrix not qualified to offer this to you, but it would be unfair of you to project that onto them. If you are seriously struggling with your mental health, whilst a seeing a Dominatrix does have the potential to help your mental state, they should be the last on the list of professionals you seek out (with trained, accredited psychotherapists and your doctors being the top). For those of you seeking a therapist, I can highly recommend Pink Therapy where you can specify wanting to see a kink friendly therapist. Now that I’ve make the all important distinction between ‘therapy’ and ‘therapuetic’, let’s delve into the meat of this blog.

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In Defence Of Porn…

By MistressLolaRuin | February 14, 2020

I recently read this article, and have been inspired (/incensed?) to respond here on My blog…

Porn warps culture. I hope credit-card checks nudge adults out of the habit
by Christina Patterson

Firstly, let Me say that although I (currently) only make non-nude, fetish/FemDom content, I stand in solidarity with ALL porn performers. I very much class Myself as both a sex worker and a pornographer. All of us in the industry are subject to a society which at once consumes the content we produce, whilst also criminalising us and decrying us for producing it. Let Me also say, that I have mixed feelings about the digital economy bill. For those unaware, the bill will require age proof of age *** on all pornographic content. Websites which refuse to comply will be blocked in the UK. This may well include My website, which you’re reading this blog on right now.

I have yet to read any real, unbiased study stating that children are adversely affected by viewing pornography. But, I also don’t believe that a lack of such evidence means porn is good for children to be viewing. If anyone can point Me in the direction of any such studies, then I would love to hear from you…

Although it will adversely impact Me and My business, I agree with the idea that porn should probably be less available to children. But… I also believe that blocking websites and other such censorship is a violation of liberty. As so eloquently put by activists such as Pandora Blake and Myles Jackson, porn is the ‘canary in the coalmine’ of free speech. Censorship of porn may well be the thin end of the wedge… What might our government decide we shouldn’t be viewing next?

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Locked up for Lola Ruin, Part 3…

By MistressLolaRuin | December 26, 2019

Chastity Diary
Day 8

As I write this about halfway through the 25th of December, with carols still ringing about the house, I can say that being locked up for Christmas by Mistress Lola is everything I thought it would be. Without any bit of obsequiousness I can say that every picture of Herself – and I do mean every picture – that She posts on Twitter is enough to have me bulging inside my cage. I’m wondering if this is the start of a wonderful seasonal tradition, albeit one that doesn’t lend itself very well to sharing with others. I’m even wondering if I deserve a smaller cage, but that’s a conversation I need to have with my Mistress. Well, “conversation” implies perhaps too much negotiating power on my part, but you take my meaning.

I woke up this morning thinking about Mistress Lola leading me around in public by a leash attached to my cage, which feels a thematically appropriate fantasy, as well as a good place to leave this diary entry.

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Locked up for Lola Ruin, Part 2…

By MistressLolaRuin | November 16, 2019

Chastity Diary
Day 4
Another morning of frustrated desire. Because today was one of complete leisure it meant I could spend a couple of hours restlessly in bed, thinking about Mistress Lola and O/our session a few days ago. My bruises are no longer painful, but I still have a few healing cuts to remind me of my caning. I press my face into the pillow and think of worshipping Her bottom. None of this is particularly helpful in dealing with my cock straining inside its cage, but of course this is the perverse joy and the challenge of chastity.

Chastity Diary
Day 5

Other than when travelling home from O/our session this was the first day I’ve worn the cage out in public during this stint of chastity. As always this feels a little perilous, although that might be just a bit of an exhibitionist fantasy talking.

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Locked up for Lola Ruin, Part 1…

By MistressLolaRuin | November 5, 2019

Chastity Diary
Day 0

Like all O/our sessions this one started with me kneeling naked on the floor of Her chambers, waiting for Mistress Lola. Within a few moments of Her having entered the room I was crouched in front of Her, worshipping Her feet as W/we talked about O/our last session together, and what I’d been thinking about since then.

It’s difficult to describe how much I’ve come to feel at home – as Mistress observed – while kissing Her feet. I can never help exhibiting transparent relish as I get to run my lips over Her instep, Her delicate toes… It always feels so far removed from my time outside O/our sessions, and yet always feels so natural. Even as I write this I can feel my chest swelling with helpless desire.

After a time Mistress stood and beckoned me over Her spanking bench. She was dressed in a purple latex skirt, a section at the back cut out to display Her bottom. I truly can’t describe it or my feelings about it in a way that does justice to either, so it will have to suffice to say that being allowed to worship Mistress Lola’s bottom is perhaps the part of O/our time together I long for and recall most powerfully between sessions, and that skirt in particular is a familiar object of fascination for a reason that I’ll explain in a later entry.

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Diary of a Chastity slave…

By MistressLolaRuin | October 27, 2019

Chastity is one of My favourite ways to torment My adoring slaves. In fact, it was one of the first fetishes I really delved into as a young Domme, and I would often lock My boyfriend of the time up overnight. Seeing My partner wake up in agony next time Me as his CB6000 constricted his painful morning hard on was a satisfying power trip. Most of these mornings began with his begging to be unlocked… A hilarious way to start the day.

My love of it has evolved over the years as I have grown into the teasing, sensual Dominant I am today. It plays so well into all of My other favourite fetishes… Masturbation control, orgasm denial, edging, cuckolding, and of course ruined orgasm!

Not only do I like the obvious of having a denied cock in a cage, but I love how that experience seeps into everyday life for My submissives. Their cage serves as a constant reminder of their servitude, and the power I hold over them. Like a painful, frustrating collar they can’t remove. Equal parts physical and psychological Domination…

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Accepting Personal Bitch Applications

By MistressLolaRuin | June 1, 2019

I know I have spent years telling some of you miscreants to look out for this blog post, and now the time has finally come…
I am looking to recruit at least one personal bitch (possibly more depending on the calibre of replies I get) to assist with the day to day running of My increasingly hectic lifestyle.

For those of you who admire Me from afar but do not have the monetary funds to book a session, this is a rare and unique opportunity to build a D/s connection with Me in return for being useful to Me.
YOUR DUTIES AS MY BITCH:
Cleaning.
This one is obvious. This will be in My home and possibly dungeon, and will include hoovering, mopping, washing dishes, laundry, polishing, scrubbing and so on.
Chauffeuring
You must hold a license, own a car and be a good driver.
Ad-Hoc Chores
This could include tasks such as administration, promotion, cooking, foot massage, running errands, gardening or DIY tasks.
(Ideally you would be able to perform all these duties, however applications to just serve Me as a cleaning maid or driver are also welcome.)

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‘RUIN’ Filmed by Duke

By MistressLolaRuin | April 26, 2019

For those of you who haven’t heard of Duke or seen his work, he produces the most BEAUTIFUL, erotic promotional videos for sex workers. Ever since I saw his first film a few years ago, I knew I would love to work with him.

I decided to finally take the plunge, and book him for a 5 hour video shoot last month.

It began with the spark of an idea I had… A kinky homage to Madonna’s 1990 ‘Justify My Love’ music video, which was so sexually explicit it was banned by MTV. Although tame by today’s standards, it’s scenes of sadomasochism, voyeurism, homosexuality caused quite the stir when it was released in 1990 America. Obviously, it’s worth a watch… 😉

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Vanilla Corruption Party 11th May with Mistress Tess

By MistressLolaRuin | April 23, 2019

For the last 4 years, the incredible Mistress Tess has hosted a ‘Vanilla Corruption’ play party… an event where her vanilla girlfriends come along to see the lucky subs attending being played with humiliated and debased for their amusement. The event serves to be a demonstration of BDSM, and this year I am thrilled to have been asked to co-host alongside her, at her fabulous playspace The Alchemy Rooms.

What play happens at the event will depend upon the interests of those who apply, and of course all limits are respected. Previous events have included pet play, sissies, whipping, electro-play, humiliation and strap-on, to give you a flavour of the kind of fun we might have in store for you. The only fetishes that we are unable to indulge in are forced bisexuality, hardsports and orgasms/orgasm control. Beyond that, the possibilities for play are limitless!

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Extended Experiences…

By MistressLolaRuin | October 1, 2018

Imagine: A beautiful, dominant Woman escorts you into Her brand new playspace, and locks you within. Just as She is about to leave, looks you up and down, and smiles wickedly.

From this moment, you will be contained under Her complete control, and only She decides when your time is up. Once that door closes, your ability to make decisions for yourself have ended. All decisions are Hers, Hers alone—And they are final.

This experience can be yours.

Extended Sessions
The opening of My own personal playspace means I am now able to be entertained by slaves for longer than ever before. To celebrate, I am now offering ‘Extended Experiences’ for those brave enough to pursue them.

Are you that special type of slave who craves a taste of real life control in a D/s environment? Perhaps you want to steal a glimpse into what 24/7 might look and feel like? Have you always strived to turn over decision-making to a beautiful woman who knows exactly what to do with that opportunity?

This is a unique, one-time experience that you can fantasise about over a lifetime… or, you can experience it for real.

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